What glue holds farang-thai couple relationships together?

[Takiap]

I think it's the same glue that holds any relationship together. It's all about give and take, genuine equality, and bear in mind, even the thickest person in the world can sense when you consider yourself to be a cut above them. Despite all the horror stories you read, not all Thai women are after money and/or a lavish lifestyle. Hell, to use one of Sarge's old expressions, I can barely afford a bucket to pee in, and yet my wife is still with me after 11 years. And, to brush aside another myth, the "sick buffalo" story is just that, an invented fairytale. Sure the odd girl has used it, but nobody I know who's married to a Thai has come across it.

I would quite honestly say my marriage is the same as most marriages are after 11 years.....sometimes we laugh together, other times we argue, she has her space, I have my space, and neither of us try to change one another. We are who we are, and we're happy with that. Sure we don't kiss and cuddle as often as we did 10 years ago, but that's to be expected, or at least that's how I see it.

Okay, I do have one huge advantage in my favor.........my wife doesn't enjoy watching TV at all, and neither do I, so no soaps to bother me, and no football to bother her.

In a nutshell.....it's been the happiest and most enjoyable period of my life.

[Super Joe]

It's all about give and take, genuine equality, and bear in mind, even the thickest person in the world can sense when you consider yourself to be a cut above them. I would quite honestly say my marriage is the same as most marriages are after 11 years.....sometimes we laugh together, other times we argue, she has her space, I have my space, and neither of us try to change one another. We are who we are, and we're happy with that. Sure we don't kiss and cuddle as often as we did 10 years ago, but that's to be expected, or at least that's how I see it.

Blimey my view on it couldn't be any closer. And we've been married 11 years the same. Nicely put.

I think kids play a large role in it all.


SJ

[samman]

I agree with all the comments - but there is one issue which can blow up a good Thai / Farang relationship which hasn't been mentioned. For the man thinking about his woman - you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl. Not surprising really. There she had friends, company, fun, music and the feeling of being desired. And she could make money. For the woman thinking about her man? Once a butterfly - always a butterfly! He's done it once and the potential is everywhere to do it again. He gets attractive company in a bar, beer, sports / music, maybe pool, the opportunity to flirt and his ego fed by all these young ladies eager to please. Trust only goes so far. I've seen married farangs and married ladies visiting their 'friends' in the bars and joining in the fun!
As to the children? It is the same in the UK as in Thailand. The father has the potential to earn more than the mother. In the UK the government requires the father to be responsible, so the children can often stay with their mother. In Thailand often the only way for the children to have anything is if the children join the fathers family, where they can be left in the care of the grandparents. Handy that because they can look after the grandparents in due course and the money the mother sends every month supports the grandparents too!!

[jimmy40]

sorry samman, but it is all dependant on many variables, i have had bar girls want nothing but fammilly.[then again could want everything] Its not cut and dryed. Maybe it it is, and i am to slow to see it. But the girl i have now, as allways starts as the house keeper. Wants nothing, just a cuddle at night. then did not want money, except 2000 for her kid a month. thats fair. I keep a excell version of what thai girls really cost. I am still supprized thay all want to talk.[maybe the grass was not greener] just my drunken 2 satang worth.

[GLCQuantum]

you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

Personally, I think the above is kind of stone age now. Some of the nicest girls I met in Hua Hin were from bars. They held all the desirable traits you could want in a person (and some undesirables also but... who doesn't?) and if I was to have settled down with a girl in Hua Hin, and I chose someone from the bars I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at their 'profession'... I'm more interested in the kind of girl they are TBH. You can get some real pieces of work who are doctors I'm sure and some beautiful, down to earth girls who collect the cans from the dustbins for a living! The profession IMO has nothing to do with weather you have a chance of clicking.

[samman]

I agree as to the chance of clicking and their profession may not be an issue in its own right. But the butterfly factor on both sides can cause the glue to unstick.

[Rider]

Big Boy, I know you no many Thai's over here, now years ago i only recal older men with younger ladys but every year i see more and more young Thai Farang relationships i even read an artical in a magazine about young british lads seeking fun sex and long lasting relationships with Thai's your opinion please.

Kendo.

I think at their age they'd be more wary than settle down so young in Thailand.

Better to sort your head out in the west before heading out here for long-term.
Shake, rattle and roll is great but I don't see myself settling down with a Thai lady until I'm in my 40s...