Child Custody

[Toni4484]

hi everybody,
i have a friend which is very desperate. his wife left to her hometown with their 2 children and is saying that she is not coming back!!! there marriage is broken since a longtime but after he was being unfaithfull the wife freaked out. she lied that she wanted to go to her hometwon(in esan) to get her mind cleaned but after arriving she told him she would not come back!! he is missing his children a lot and will now fight for the custody of the children. if anybody got an advice or might experienced a simular case please post on here. i believe there are laws in this country that force his wife to come back at least that he could see the children because going to her hometown would be a suicde mission!!!

i really hope someone can help in this case!! the kids are 1 and 3 years old and the older one is telling him she wants to go to papa which is breaking his heart!!

[PeteC]

There are no laws that I know of that force his wife to do anything in the absence of a court ruling which won't happen unless he files with the court. It doesn't appear that the wife has hidden the children, she is in communication with him and he knows where they are and has opted not to go there for whatever reasons. He needs to get a lawyer and start divorce and custody proceedings if reconciliation is impossible. Pete

[littlebird]

Sorry to say but I fear he will have a tough battle on his hands

[pharvey]

Married with kids, played the field and got caught - tw@t in my book.

That said, with kids involved it's very sad. They shouldn't have to suffer from the antics of the father - not a great deal of sympathy with him to be honest.... sorry.

As to the question, I imagine the wife is in the right completely, Thai law will undoubtedly support her and your mate is going to have problems. You've not said that the wife refuses to allow access - is this the case?

[buksida]

Yes, it is possible to get sole custody of the kids under Thai law, but it is not easy. You need a very good lawyer who needs to prove that the mother is unfit to take care of them and it would be in the children's best interests to stay with the father. However if the father has been playing the field for whatever reason this is unlikely to happen.

He needs to get on his knees and to a lot of arse kissing and come to some amicable agreement with her to enable him to have some input in their upbringing.

[Takiap]

Short of going up and confronting her, his only option would be to start court proceeding. How truth it is or not, I cannot say, but I have heard and read on many occasions that Thai family courts are worlds apart from the regular courts. Apparently family court judges really don't care less whether you're a Thai or a Farang, but instead, their primary concern are any kids involved. I've also heard and read that unless there's dirt, sons are usually placed in the mother's care, while daughters are placed in their father's care. When I queried this, I was told it is, in part, to do with the high incidence of sex abuse between step fathers and step daughters.


But, to echo what others have said, if he was playing the field, that will more than likely count against him, unless he can dig up some dirt about her, or perhaps try and demand that his kids attend a decent school rather than one of the Isaan schools.

An to end off..........

1. He shouldn't have been messing around
2. He shouldn't have been silly enough to get caught

[richard]

He needs to get on his knees and to a lot of arse kissing and come to some amicable agreement with her to enable him to have some input in their upbringing.

and I think the way it looks he has to think about moving to Isaan if the wife will let him

[Takiap]

He needs to get on his knees and to a lot of arse kissing and come to some amicable agreement with her to enable him to have some input in their upbringing.

and I think the way it looks he has to think about moving to Isaan if the wife will let him

Or snatch the kids and get his ass back to his own country. Irrespective of whether he played the field or not, he has every right to be with his kids, and not under her conditions. Snatching the kids would be wrong, but then again, that's exactly what his wife has done. Until a court decides, neither parent is more innocent or more guilty than the other.

I know that if my wife were to ever try such a tactic, I would have the kids back in a flash, by WHATEVER means possible.


Also, none of us know anything about the guy's wife. Perhaps she was playing the field as well, or perhaps she was working in a bar behind his back and then got caught, in which case the courts would give him custody. I think we need to know both sides of the story before we can really judge.

Divorce proceedings can take years, and in that case, one can hardly expect the guy to stay celibate until eventually the divorce is granted.

[Harry Bosch]

All the righteous judges have come out of the woodwork again.
I thought someone had asked for some advice not judgment.
If you can help, help.
Take your wigs off and put your gavels down and try to give some advice.
Judge not and ye shall not be judged.

[pharvey]

All the righteous judges have come out of the woodwork again.
I thought someone had asked for some advice not judgment.
If you can help, help.
Take your wigs off and put your gavels down and try to give some advice.
Judge not and ye shall not be judged.

Not judging at all - if you agree that shagging outside of the marriage is good for the wife and kids, fair play to you. Personally, I wouldn't agree.......

Advice? Get a good lawyer and in future keep dick in pants!

[Toni4484]

thanks for the words and thank you harry.
yes i am asking for advice not for judgement. maybe this case is too personal to put it here.

it is not that he was just shagging around!!! like it is easy to see the situation like that!!
if there is no love between a couple and no sexual life since 2 years i think it is normal that one day it is going to happen!!! and all of that has nothing to do with the children!! the parents tried to stay togehter for the sake of the children but!
i didn.t post this for people to say 'keep dick in your pants'! i know because most of you guys look at yourselfs screwing around the whole time. but my friend is and was not like that!

again maybe i made a mistake by posting this but for those who could give a good advice or experienced simular be free to post thank you!

[sjpthsuk]

Best advice i can give for your friend, is get proper legal advice and be prepared for proceedings to take a very long time.

I do disagree with your global statement "i know because most of you guys look at yourselfs screwing around the whole time..." - comments like that are not constructive, and will lead to a deterioration of the post.


Also IMHO you should not of posted this on an open forum, doing so got the responses based on what was written...and everyone who answered expressed their advice/opinions.

[Toni4484]

I do disagree with your global statement "i know because most of you guys look at yourselfs screwing around the whole time..." - comments like that are not constructive, and will lead to a deterioration of the post.


yes you are right!!! what i ment is that many guys jump around here, so it is easy to put my friend in a box!! sorry no bad thoughts to anyone