Who the .... is Wenlock ?

[Frank Hovis]

Turns out it's some sort of Olympic mascot or other but there is a version of it in a police uniform for sale on Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Olympic-Mascots ... roduct_top

The comments are great - not just the first few but all hundred or so of them

[MrPlum]

These figures really are dreadful. Who would buy them? No fence-sitting now... how would you write your review?

Some examples of comments..

'Also known as "My Little Drony", this plastic Beelzebub all-knowingly looks into my very thoughts like the Eye of Sauron in a hat. The five Olympic rings were forged in the fires of Mordor, and I know that Wenlock wants them, to gain supreme power over the human race, on behalf of Adidas, BP, Dow Chemical, McDonalds, and all the other hordes of Satan, I mean, sustainability partners. I know that Wenlock can hear me typing - he can sense that I've used the word Olympics in a non-corporate approved manner, diluting his unholy brand image. I fear I haven't got much time... He is at the window... I... OH GOD... PLEASE... NO!'

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'What a proud moment for the world of contrived, committee-built, focus-grouped-to-hell major event marketing merchandise.

'High Fives' for the creative genius(es) who, I am certain, sat around in endless concept & design meetings before finally concluding that THIS is the face with which Britain should welcome the world.

Having completely overlooked our proud tradition of loveable characters like Paddington, Rupert, Bagpuss, Tellytubbies, Charlie & Lola etc and gone with a poor copy of Monsters Inc - but with even fewer distinguishing features - to then dress it up as a policeman is the icing on the cake.

Gone is the world-reknowned "friendly, approachable British bobby" image and in comes something most Orwellian - is it an eyeball or a CCTV camera in a police uniform? Either way it clearly says "we're watching your every step".. and in fairness that is exactly how it will feel. Welcome to London 2012!'


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'...imagine a policeman, baton drawn, watercannon at his shoulder, standing guard over an Olympics logo, while beside him McDonalds sells more burgers to more unhealthy people than ever, and drones cruise the sky collecting data from the phones of people suspected of anti-Olympics feelings...forever.

And to get into the spirit of your inevitable future you should buy this mascot like I did. It sits upon my mantelpiece, an extrusion of the future into my life, just as the Olympics offers itself as the future of human development: taxpayer-funded, corporate, unequal, and not for the likes of us.'

[Frank Hovis]

Three of my favourites

PC Wenlock has been great! Soon after I took him home, he drew a Zil Lane through my neighbour's garden and arrested all those unsightly gnomes for standing in it.
However, he also killed my neighbour's father for the egregious crime of Walking Away A Bit Funny, which I think was a bit over the top, so I deduct one star.

I was deceived into purchasing this item by googling "one-eyed helmet".
All I can say is, it's NOT fit for purpose.

This toy is worse than masturbating to a picture of Lord Coe, official overlord of the 2012 Olympics. And believe me, I've tried.

[BaaBaa.]

I didn't think much of the official logo either, it looks like Lisa pleasuring Bart.

[pharvey]

^ You have to be seriously worried the way your mind works BaaBaa......... although I'm seriously concerned that I can see exactly what you mean!!