Thai Romance and Facebook

[James Irish]

Be careful with Facebook..you might see things you don't want to see.

In my case I had my first non bar-girl romance on this my 12th trip..Ive spent about 3 years in total in 13 years coming here..

She was the friend of my mate's wife in Pattaya and she was perfect..young but mature,great English,pretty, fun loving, adventurous,caring,not in the least bit greedy, no sick grandma's,great love life..everything a man could want..We spent our second month together in Hua Hin where she had never been and it was the most perfect romantic month of my whole life..i was smitten and was on the verge of asking her to marry me..I have been avoiding marriage my entire life but now i thought this is the one!

But she was addicted to Facebook and in, I suppose a fit of guilt told me one day a young danish guy was landing next week..A facebook realtionship she had never met in peron..She told me she loved me and wouldn't meet him and she didn't...he sent her 247 txts the first day and 399 the second. Not a nice start to his holiday.

A forthnight later a not so young German facebook friend was stood up at the airport..She told me she loved me and wouldn't meet him and she didn't..

But jealosy and suspicious on my part grew..she started rowing and after a month she went back to Bangkok..I should have called it a day then but i didnt..we kept in contact and she started to come down every other weekend..more like friends with benefits..

But now the German has reappeared..and they are staying together at the Hilton..She's posting about her inroom jacuzzi..posting bra and knicker shots...and they are swapping pillow talk publicly..I know what he looks like and i didn't want to know.I even know what their room is like

I am brokenhearted, I would be much better off I didn't know any of this..especially so close to where i stay..I feel bad about myself because Ive unfriended her and blocked her phone..for being petty..but it was the only response I had...

Jut wanted to get that off my chest...Ignorance is bliss

[richard]

Your a brave man for posting it

Yes, FB can begin to become addictive to some and is particularly attractive in advertising your wares if you are a young girl on the hunt

I know you're feeling sad about the events but you've taken the first step and shared it with us all. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea especially in SE Asia

[Ginjaninja]

Very sad story James....
Facebook causes many problems I know... and work boths ways. Have caused many a problem clicking 'Like' on the wrong girls photo
You have resisted the temptation to go a knocking on Ze German's hotel door?
You should think yourself lucky boy that you found out what she is like before you did take a bigger step (marriage ). Chin-up and get over the jai dum... there are plenty non-bar-girls out there jai dee maaaaaaak.
Good luck pal.
GN.

[kendo]

Lucky escape James, next time you will know what to look for put this one down to experience as nothing is ever quite what it seems in Thailand.

This very charming girl is computer savey i would call the new breed of maiden that will apply her ways for a long term future if she can hook 4-5 men in " come for holiday darling" German man one month he go's home Irish lad the next, and after that hooks an oil rig worker from god knows where, they will all think that she is the one and start sending her money 10-20k a month, a good little income eh.

She will just look upon them as sponsors and given the chance of a holiday or marriage would jump ship for the best option.

The good thing about Facebook it's very easy for people to make a mistake and get busted most people don't really understand the whole power of social media it can be good and bad in my opinion.

I am Married to a Thai living in the UK we both use Facebook i have Thai friends on my page and always get random friend requests from Thai girls i have never met i put this down to thai girls fishing for a Santa Claus.

Chin up fella and i can think of far worse places to be broken hearted and plenty of good ways of getting over her.

Kendo.

[Siani]

It really hurts, I have 2 relatives who have had a very bad experiences with Thai girlfriends. I know you cannot see it now, but really you are better off finding out now, rather than later. Maybe she will dump the German for a another. Maybe she has done this a few times. Keep a cool head, and count you lucky stars.
The quickest way to get over the pain is to look for someone else. Another thing...do not look at what they are up to on Facebook...resist the temptation, however hard it is

[MrPlum]

I don't know if it is any consolation but based on observation, girls here will hedge their bets as long as possible until they hook the man they want. And who can blame them? For every woman who has another man on the back burner, there are men who promise the earth, only to let the girls down. Once you show the required commitment, the others can be dropped. At least, that's the hope.

Facebook, chat rooms, etc.. are high risk. I disagree with Siani. Why bury your head in the sand? Checking them makes sense for the smitten, not just for employers. It is staggering how much personal information people are prepared to reveal.

I know someone who gets friends to pose as a potential lovers to see whether the girl is open or loyal. This is a little unfair because the girl may just play along with other men to see what develops and may not, in the end, be serious. It is when you have made a commitment and her communications continue, that spells trouble.

Sad story and a reminder of how risky and unpredictable relationships can be.

[Bristolian]

I don't know if it is any consolation but based on observation, girls here will hedge their bets as long as possible until they hook the man they want. And who can blame them? For every woman who has another man on the back burner, there are men who promise the earth, only to let the girls down. Once you show the required commitment, the others can be dropped. At least, that's the hope.

Facebook, chat rooms, etc.. are high risk. I disagree with Siani. Why bury your head in the sand? Checking them makes sense for the smitten, not just for employers. It is staggering how much personal information people are prepared to reveal.

I know someone who gets friends to pose as a potential lovers to see whether the girl is open or loyal. This is a little unfair because the girl may just play along with other men to see what develops and may not, in the end, be serious. It is when you have made a commitment and her communications continue, that spells trouble.

Sad story and a reminder of how risky and unpredictable relationships can be.

Mr P.... I agree
Except that everyone has a history and sometimes it does not pay to dig to deeply into the history of someone that you care about. Ignorance of the past can be bliss.

Of course you need to be as sure as possible that the past, whatever it may be, dies in the past.

I know a number of Westerners who have settled down with ladies of dubious pasts.... Needs must as they say. Today, the majority these couples are extremely happy together.

Simply try to safeguard your future with reasonable precautions and sufficient time to build a lasting relationship.

Good Luck

[kendo]

Yeah their is the flip side to this how many men look upon their girl as a keeper, promises them the earth and then let's them down because the grass is greener and the guy meets some one else younger more sexy speaks better English, gives better head, with no elderly Mum leaky roof and sick buffalo .
It is human nature to keep your options open or have something on the back burner as Mr P quoted, but some girls really are clever and make a small fortune out of love sick sponsors that don't engage in common sense.

I was sat in a watering hole up in our part of Issan and this farang guy rocked up trying to sale his moped, after a bit of a chat with this guy turns out his girlfriend of two years that he had kept in money and visited regularly between working, had a husband.Although she was using a deception telling him that it was her brother this guy would sit eat meals with them then clear off
When a jealous girl in the village told him the whole family found it amusing and changed their attitude towards him.
The poor guy just wanted to recover a little money and shoot through.

Kendo.

[joelle]

hello james
I strongly recommend you to read the book titled "a fool in paradise" from neil hutchison, you will learn a lot as it is so very true!!!
better luck next time but remember you are in thailand!!!

[MrPlum]

I strongly recommend you to read the book titled "a fool in paradise" from neil hutchison, you will learn a lot as it is so very true!!!

'Private Dancer' for me. Threw it away, half read, since I didn't want to be put off Thailand for life!

There are a lot of success stories and POLLS on the forum support this. You can find marital bliss but if you take a hard-core girl out of a bar, massage parlour or beauty salon, common sense should tell you, it is high risk. It is a sad fact that some men are not street-wise and learn the hard way.

[m_right]

I have seen plenty of falang men cheat on or dump nice Thai girls when they find what seems like a better one. Plenty of men play the dating sites and social media and convince the girls they are a potential long term find when they only plan on getting some cheap sex.

[dws]

Simple solution....."De-friend" her on Facebook...... If she's that addicited, it's the worst insult you can pay her......& you won't be bothered by any more by innapproproate photos...

You could have come out of this far worse off mate........ Pride bruised, but that heals quickly!

[joelle]

hi james
hope you don't mind my asking : how old are you ?

[Spitfire]

Well James....bet you are not the first and won't be the last. It's easy to be beguiled by these perfect romances here with some girl that looks like she is straight out of an FHM magazine.......no-one would blame you for that as first timer on this front.

As for Facebook...it's corrosive, addictive (for many) and causes a multitude of problems in many ways for many people. It is even a plague in my lab classes at the university I work at, and trying to keep the seduced off it is near impossible. I am definitely not a fan of it.

Best of luck though in the future with these sort of matters.

[georgie]

I figure if she's meeting me, why not someone else? I've yet to meet a Thai girl who's interested in dating farangs and doesn't already have 4 or 5 of us on the go at one time.