Picture - A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
Aberration — Something that is wrong with the lens by design, as opposed to something wrong with the lens by accident of assembly or use.
Bokeh — The look of the picture in the parts where you can’t tell what you’re looking at.
Depth of Field — The part of an image that is in best focus, traditionally placed just in front of, or just behind, the subject See also, Autofocus
Glamour — A type of photography practiced by many and mastered by few, with the purpose of creating images of creatures not found in nature.
Weather resistant — A term that consumers falsely define as ‘weather proof’ and camera companies accurately define as ‘the warranty doesn’t cover water damage.’
Wedding Photography, n. — A complex form of photography consists first of making hysterical people appear calm and joyous, and later making drunk people appear pleasantly tipsy. The purpose is to create a beautiful album of images that statistically has a 54% chance of being ripped into little pieces within 5 years.
More at
http://www.lensrentals.com/blog/2013/11 ... dictionary
The author encouraged readers to add definitions in comments. So far the readers have demonstrated they either don't understand satire or can't produce it. Because it's a photography forum for hardware geeks, some are arguing the technical accuracy of the satire. Yes, I'm serious.