Many Americans are tired of explaining things to idiots

[dozer]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz ... st-popular

Many in Nation Tired of Explaining Things to Idiots

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Many Americans are tired of explaining things to idiots, particularly when the things in question are so painfully obvious, a new poll indicates.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, while millions have been vexed for some time by their failure to explain incredibly basic information to dolts, that frustration has now reached a breaking point.

Of the many obvious things that people are sick and tired of trying to get through the skulls of stupid people, the fact that climate change will cause catastrophic habitat destruction and devastating extinctions tops the list, with a majority saying that they will no longer bother trying to explain this to cretins.

Coming in a close second, statistical proof that gun control has reduced gun deaths in countries around the world is something that a significant number of those polled have given up attempting to break down for morons.

Finally, a majority said that trying to make idiots understand why a flag that symbolizes bigotry and hatred has no business flying over a state capitol only makes the person attempting to explain this want to put his or her fist through a wall.

In a result that suggests a dismal future for the practice of explaining things to idiots, an overwhelming number of those polled said that they were considering abandoning such attempts altogether, with a broad majority agreeing with the statement, “This country is exhausting.”

[caller]

Must be Guardian readers - lol!

[hhfarang]

What a load of crap obviously written by a far left wingnut...

[dozer]

It’s the usual liberal attitude, if you don’t agree with them then you are stupid and if that fails they play the race card.

[Farang]

" Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written
for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com. "

[dozer]

^
Borowitz fits in perfectly with the liberal readership of the New Yorker.

[StevePIraq]

Americans talking about Americans, enough said

[Deep Blue]

I agree completely. Crazy country.

[hhfarang]

I agree completely. Crazy country.

It's a wonderful country with a few crazy people. If you avoid them (and there are more in Thailand) then life is great here. I didn't realize just how much I missed it in 10 years living there until I moved back here. I will never leave again except for short holidays!

[Homer]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz ... st-popular

Many in Nation Tired of Explaining Things to Idiots

Let me translate that for y'all.

Our persuasion campaigns have failed. We were unable to con the public and unable to rebut the counter arguments and evidence. Mostly, we were unable to convince them that Science is always right and it's impossible to lie with statistics.

Our Global Warming alarmist campaign failed, but it's not because our minions were caught changing data. It's not our initial scare tactic name failed even the most basic sniff test and it's not because we changed names in mid campaign. It's not because we were unwilling to consider any geo engineering as a possible solution because they, unlike our wet dream federal government mandated solutions, wouldn't align with our long term Marxist - Stalinist - Central Government Controlling Your Lives goals.

Our firearm confiscation campaign failed again, but it's not because we were unable to disguise we hated gun owners far more than we wanted to limit gun sales or gun deaths. It wasn't because at the person to person level we reacted to the offer to hold an unloaded gun with the stomach turning revulsion of someone who's just been told to scoop out the contents of an outhouse holding tank with his bare hands. It wasn't because we believe that it's never justifiable to kill someone in self defense if the attacker is a democrat, or a likely democrat, or belongs to a group where most of the members are democrats. And it most certainly wasn't because we couldn't acknowledge a single example in history where some members of a population needed to defend themselves from their own government.

Finally, there is no way we can allow the Stars and Bars to be displayed in public or private, despite the First Amendment guaranteeing the right. We must win this one because it goes against every lie we tell when the flag occasionally reminds the public that “Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of the ends for which it was established, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government.”

Our failures were not because we misjudged our abilities. It wasn't because we didn't, and don't understand the middle and right of the political spectrum. The cause was the public, whom we think are not able to make intelligent decisions about how to live their lives, wasn't smart enough to believe us.

[dtaai-maai]

Let me translate that for y'all.

Do you ever actually say that, or are you just trying to be a 'good ole boy'?

...wouldn't align with our long term Marxist - Stalinist - Central Government Controlling Your Lives goals.

This is why it's so difficult to take you seriously - the McCarthyist reds under the bed paranoia lives on.

Our firearm confiscation campaign failed again, but it's not because we were unable to disguise we hated gun owners far more than we wanted to limit gun sales or gun deaths. It wasn't because at the person to person level we reacted to the offer to hold an unloaded gun with the stomach turning revulsion of someone who's just been told to scoop out the contents of an outhouse holding tank with his bare hands. It wasn't because we believe that it's never justifiable to kill someone in self defense if the attacker is a democrat, or a likely democrat, or belongs to a group where most of the members are democrats.

Do you honestly believe all this?

Finally, there is no way we can allow the Stars and Bars to be displayed in public or private, despite the First Amendment guaranteeing the right.

It is presumably also 'a right' to display the Nazi Swastika, to wear white robes and hoods and burn crosses. That doesn't make it right. Slavery may be dead(-ish), but the attitudes behind it live on.

[Homer]

Finally, a majority said that trying to make idiots understand why a flag that symbolizes bigotry and hatred has no business flying over a state capitol ...

That majority is a minority. When the left partisan CNN runs a poll, you can bet they design it to get the results they want. But they can only tweak a survey design so far before even the unwashed masses know it's BS. So, imagine their surprise when their latest poll on beliefs about the Confederate Flag are where they were 15 years ago: 57% see it as a symbol of Southern Pride.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/02/polit ... ern-pride/

Hey libtards and Brits, you do know what party controlled Southern state legislatures and governorships from the end of the Civil War until not long after abortion was legalized in 1972? The party that kept blacks from registering, much less voting? The party that never lifted a finger against segregation? The party that fought the Civil Rights act of 1964 until the LBJ, the master of back room power politics, 'convinced' them that implementing one of JFKs plans would be good for them and the nation. It was the democrats.

[GLCQuantum]

I was walking next to the Mekong river in Ratchaburi recently (my new home) when I saw a van pull into a shop to drop off goods.

In the front of the van, there was a massive sign on the windscreen saying 'Ugly America' followed with a sole of the foot picture. Americans are hated with a passion in Ratchaburi, I've learned since. Lynchings are not uncommon.... Oh how the tables have turned.

Americans are tired of explaining things....

"Oh, per-lease"... Lord give me strength.

[STEVE G]

When you read the some of the posts above explaining the American point of view, I'm left wondering why the original article was labeled as humour!

[HHTel]

When you read the some of the posts above explaining the American point of view, I'm left wondering why the original article was labeled as humour!