THE unlikely event

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 12:43 pm

A while ago something happened to umwah which i found rather odd, quaint, pleasing and unnerving

Every day i sit outside my house leaning on my black and decker workmate watching the comings and goings in my soi i have been doing it for years.

One evening a very good neighbour and friend of mrs sarge under the affluence of incohol came to my house and started saying to me "I dont want you to die i want you to live forever" thankyou sayeth I I love you too

Mrs Sarge enlightend me "she want you live forever because she worry you will be a PEE (ghost)"

Cut to the chase it ended up with a soi get together a fair few changs and about 10 neighbours sitting around discussing my funeral (WHILE I SAT THERE DUMBSTRUCK)

Two neighbours are supplying the booze one is fixing the monks etc two are sorting the entertainment and mrs Sarge and brother are catering pork being supplied by original lady neighbour worried about me being a ghost

During this discussion they got up and with tape measure proceeded to place tents and cooking area where the drinks and monks go etc mindboggling

At one point the normally tuff as old boots mrs Sarge teared up a bit so when we got home i asked her why and she said
"i so happy every body love you too much you body not go temple you stay at home for 5 days (rotting???away) and only go to temple to burn

On the one hand i felt really happy that i have integrated so well with my neighbours but on the other hand worried maybe they have a date pencilled in

Still i shouldnt worry it is after all an unlikely event

any body had something similar

Post by **buksida** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 12:57 pm

Did one of them try to sell you life insurance?

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 1:59 pm

Actually no Buksi i was literally the spare at the proverbial it just went on in a life of its own for over 2 hours it was for me quite surreal spelt wrong probably weird anyway funny as well
because they got very serious discussing protocol gesticulating and measuring and discussing poo dee good manners etc
It has been mentioned 2 or 3 times since

I still say 5 litres of petrol and a box of matches but mrs Sarge gets uptight about that mutters things like you dont care what happen after you dead (took dong na crap)
seems one is judged by how good a sendoff you give the old man apparrently

Post by **PeteC** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:04 pm

No, hasn't happened to me yet, thank God. If you want to get a good rise out of them, go find an old white bed sheet, cut a hole in it for your head and then go walking around your yard and/or sit on your porch at night with just candle light. If you have a rocking chair, all the better....LOL.

Pete

Post by **Farang** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:30 pm

,
Damned good idea, Pete! One side practices the funeral, the other being a ghost.

Sarge, I hope you realize this was just the first part of the planning session. Next phase is serious discussions as to
calibers, ropes & knots, hair-dryer versus iron in the bath (honestly, Mr. Coroner, he was only ironing his hair in his bath!)
as well as merits of various poisons and styles of blunt instruments.

Btw, did they reveal the Contract value?
â€˜

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:56 pm

I havent done the sheet but i have taped sticks and things to make it look like i am dead propped up to my workmate it caused a few larfs from pork lady and her daughter
What was so unnerving was they were (pardon the pun) dead serious in making the arrangements if it was just fun i would have not posted
But mrs Sarge being moved to tears that my rotting corpse can lie in a box in my front yard for 5 days really stunned me
I have known that Mrs Sarge is trying to kill me for 9 years death by cholestorol and mathematics
How many sanwich you want only one my dear sayeth I knowing it will be 2 and a little side something
Only one potato mrs Sarge please
thats more than one potato you trying to kill me
no sweatheart that really only one potato
just fit into the pickup size was it
sure sayeth she

The buggers didnt even give me a date let alone contract value 5baht probably

Post by **Heart&Soul** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 8:13 pm

Learn something everyday.

Build your own Coffin/Box, atleast you will be happy with the build quility, another job the missus won't have too worry about.

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:35 am

We actually agree on somthing im all for it and have said i will make a plywood box 5 ltre of petrol and a box of matches
Mrs Sarge goes ballistic
quote you not care what people think about me when you dead i must do collect

Post by **Parahandy** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Good luck with the decomposition bit, Sarge. I would sincerely hope that something as trivial as your passing on to wherever you go next wouldn't stop you from composing posts for this forum...

Say 'Hi' to Mrs. Sarge. Nicely, mind!

P.

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:05 pm

Thanks for that para mrs sarge takes it all real serious i just cant get over it it sure is funny though

Post by **PeteC** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:10 pm

Start to spread the rumor that you want to go the cyrogenic(sp) route and be deep frozen so perhaps you can come back later on. Start to clear a space in the kitchen next to the frig for the equipment....LOL. The 'hood will be buzzin!

Pete

Post by **deepee** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 7:24 pm

So guys , just what is it with the Thais when it comes to spooks ?
My war office and her mates wont hardly discuss the topic of "PEE" when it occassionally comes up. They seem to get off the topic real smart , something about" we don't want em turning up here!"

Post by **dane48** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:55 am

deepee wrote:So guys , just what is it with the Thais when it comes to spooks ?
My war office and her mates wont hardly discuss the topic of "PEE" when it occassionally comes up. They seem to get off the topic real smart , something about" we don't want em turning up here!"

Not only a Thai phenomenon, but will be found all over Asia, even in the Chatolic Philippines and also India. Goes way back to ancient China. Partly integreted in the various devolpments of religion in the area, but probably original part of even more ancient Pagan-believes. That ghosts has become that important in Asia is probably a coincidence, in Europe you have other figures to explain the un-explainable, and bad events, although ghosts also have their place here.
And as always - very good way to keep snotty kids in line

Post by **Parahandy** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 12:20 am

Prcssct: Love your idea about cryogenics. Small problem - 'fai dap'.
Get them here frequently - Mrs. Sarge would obviously have to have a truckload of ice available quite quickly when needed - a sort of SOS emergency type service.
I guess Mr. Walt Disney is still waiting for the 'right' technology to unfreeze him? Boy, is he in for a surprise...

P.

Post by **Parahandy** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 12:28 am

Ahemm... Apparently Walt Disney being frozen (cryogenics) for future 're-birth' is a total urban myth.
OK, Sarge, howabout becoming an urban myth - you can do it when you're still alive. Don't want you to get all depressed about this dying stuff!

P.