Limerick Thread

[dtaai-maai]

He failed as a porn story writer
So he became a crocodile fighter
The croc liked bad porn
It gave him the horn

[MDMK]

He failed as a porn story writer
So he became a crocodile fighter
The croc liked bad porn
It gave him the horn
Their joint future looked a lot brighter

[Homer]

There was a young barman called Matt
Whose beer was decidedly flat
To give it some fizz
He added some jizz
No problem for a wanker like that

[I was typing in the first line and the next 3 just popped out, sorry! Can anyone give me a better last line that scans properly?]

If by 'scans' you mean has the same cadence and number of syllables:
Routine for a wanker like that

[dtaai-maai]

There was a young vicar from Fife

[lindosfan1]

There was a young vicar from Fife
Who had a very beautiful wife

[MDMK]

There was a young vicar from Fife
Who had a promiscuous wife

[dtaai-maai]

There was a young vicar from Fife
Who had a promiscuous wife
The bishop was cross

[MDMK]

There was a young vicar from Fife
Who had a promiscuous wife
The bishop was cross
She didn't give a toss

[dtaai-maai]

There was a young vicar from Fife
Who had a promiscuous wife
The bishop was cross
She didn't give a toss
She married for fun, not for life

[dtaai-maai]

I once knew a cranky old vicar

[MDMK]

I once knew a cranky old vicar
Who had quite a dodgy old ticker

[dtaai-maai]

I once knew a cranky old vicar
Who had quite a dodgy old ticker
So he prayed to the Lord

[Homer]

I once knew a cranky old vicar
Who had quite a dodgy old ticker
So he prayed to the Lord
For his health he'd ignored

[migrant]

I once knew a cranky old vicar
Who had quite a dodgy old ticker
So he prayed to the Lord
For his health he'd ignored
Since in winter he always wore knickers

[Vital Spark]

I stupidly broke my right wrist




(This is true. Thanks heavens for the NHS.)