Turning girls

[lomuamart]

I would remind members that no discussion of illegal practices can be tolerated on this forum.
Be sensible.

[vincent chang]

I agree with you dawn, every girl is a different case entirely. some are single moms, some are divorced, and some are single and never had kids. some are just trying it out for a summer vacation and some have been at it for years and view everyone as a target to rip off. You can meet girls anywhere in thailand, at the laundry, at the 7-11, the starbucks or the dairy queen. you dont have to relegate yourself to just a bar. However as a shy guy, I always feel more comfortable asking out a bar girl as opposed to someone in a regular job. I figure she knows what to expect and does not have any expectations other than what you agreed to pay her. there are fewer misunderstandings. I met a girl at a suburban bar and took her home with me. the next day we spent the day together and she spent the night with me without payment. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said she did not. but I later learned she had a boyfriend, but would see guys on the side without his knowledge. You can meet a "nice girl" like my first wife was, and then , after having a kid. she decided she wanted to work in a bar. it only took a few weeks for her new friends to completely take over her life. we ended up divorcing and I had to raise the kid myself for the next 12 years. That proved to be a plus now that the daughter is all grown up and going to college. I had a crush on a bargirl who had a kid, smoked, and had lots of tattoos. her mamasan said if I dated her 8 times I could take her home. after the 8th date, I took her home and we talked about a long term relationship. I think she meant it. but by that time, my visa expired and my plane ticket was already booked for a return flight. I tried to find her again 3 months later, but of course she was gone. If you do find a nice one in a bar , or a new arrival. one had better be quick about it or else the someone else will snap her up or she will quit for a better job. Some girls love the bar life, like dressing up every night and being the queen of the bar, and the trophy for the winning guy every night. they dont want any long term commitments or even any regular customers. they can pick and choose who they want to go with and have the final say, barfine or no barfine. They have the protection and security of the bar with their co workers, a family that provides shelter and food and someone to clean up after them. some even end up marrying the bar owner or are the bar owners girlfriend. and some just serve drinks and nothing more. some will only go out a short time, while others are available for overnights or even extended trips. If you do try to take her out of the bar, some bar owners will let them go, but some bar owners feel you are hijacking their property and feel they own these girls 24/7 even on their days off or holidays. So even if you both decide to run off together, maybe her boss might have other plans for her. Some girls demand a big payoff before they will leave the bar and expect you to compensate them for their loss of earnings that they sacrifice to settle down with one guy. The prettier the girl and the longer she has been at the bar, the more demanding she will likely to be. then if she does leave the bar for you, there is no guarantee that she will not return to the bar if domestic life does not suit her. being a housewife all day and being alone with one guy is a major lifestyle shift from being with her girlfriends. and the variety of customers. The only bargirls I see who successfully become wives or girlfreinds move on to become the managers or owners of their own bar or business, that way they can still send money home and have some cash flow, without having to go with other customers.

[Big Boy]

vincent chang wrote:

The only bargirls I see who successfully become wives or girlfreinds move on to become the managers or owners of their own bar or business, that way they can still send money home and have some cash flow, without having to go with other customers.

That sums your posting up very well. It just goes to prove what a narrow minded view of the world you have. It also proves that in your little world, you don't have a clue what is going on in the real world.

You wonder why they wouldn't let you in to Night Crawlers? I think the narrow minded view of Thailand displayed above says it all. Enjoy your fantasies - and carry on believing that they are real inside your head.

[Burger]

Agree Big Boy,

There's approximately the same number of bars in Hua Hin as there were 3 years ago, maybe half a dozen or so more.

There's been tons of marriages though, so where are all these new bars that the new wives have bought ?

Have you ever considered that some farang's can support their wives and help her family, with an income source other than running a bar ?


Burger

[hollygolightly1]

It might also be worth remembering that this fantasy of the farang "rescuing" the poor bar girl is exactly that. Of course a bar girl will tell a farang she wants rescuing and wow, then he can feel heroic for sleeping with her... he can convince himself he's not paying for a sexual service, he's "helping her out". whatever;
but what exactly are you rescuing them from (apart from more men like you....)? - independence, a good income, a relatively easy job.

How long does it take for a girl to turn into a bargirl? About as long as it takes a man to turn into a punter. About 7 minutes...

[Burger]

I think you're wrong there Holly, no men believe they are rescuing anyone, or not paying for sexual services, but are 'helping the girls out'.

I reckon all men (apart from a couple with a screw loose) know they are paying for sex, but many of them may say what you are suggesting, due to the stigma attached to paying for it.

It's the same as every single farang and his Thai wife back in England say they met in the 'restaurant' she was working in.

Also blokes don't like telling farang women that they're paying for it, but do not have the same problem when talking to farang men.

Stigma.

About 7 minutes

She'll be lucky

Burger

[Wanderlust]

It's the same as every single farang and his Thai wife back in England say they met in the 'restaurant' she was working in.

I think there will be quite a few posters on here who will not like the implication of that, and I'm pretty sure you don't mean that 'every' farang's Thai wife were bar girls? I know many who are completely respectable, including my own, so I think you ought to retract or edit that statement. Change 'every single' to 'some' and it is acceptable.

[Burger]

Yeah ofcourse I did not mean 'every single' person, wrong choice of words.

But I know many many people back in the UK and some posters on here who lie about whether their partner/wife was once a bar girl.

Don't why people can't just be honest.

Burger

[caller]

Don't why people can't just be honest.

Burger

Careful!

[hollygolightly1]

I think you're wrong there Holly, no men believe they are rescuing anyone, or not paying for sexual services, but are 'helping the girls out'.

I reckon all men (apart from a couple with a screw loose) know they are paying for sex, but many of them may say what you are suggesting, due to the stigma attached to paying for it.

About 7 minutes

She'll be lucky

Burger

I totally agree with you that stigma is an issue but I have met young men who are happy to admit they have paid for sex on the grounds that - even by London prices - it was cheaper than dating a girl where there was no guarantee of sex. However, I still think some men like to feel they are different from other punters (how many times do you hear guys claim they had sex with a bar girl but she didn't charge them....hmm and why wouldn't she charge him unless a) he is Brad Pitt - not in Hua Hin! b) she is setting him up for a bigger sting later? - still seems unlikely) Yes of course bar girls are like any women and capable of being faithful in a relationship, but the very fact that men marry bargirls they met and paid for indicates that some men are confuse a business transaction with a relationship. How is it possible to fall in love with a bar girl when it's unlikely you even know who she is outside of her bargirl persona? You can fall in love with the persona (and who wouldn't fall in love with someone who does everything they can to make you feel wonderful) but how real is it? And do these men care?

I was being generous with my 7 minutes.... you could include buying a drink, getting your wallet out, getting undressed, having sex, getting dressed.... Ok, you're right, make it 3 and a half.

[vincent chang]

Yes, I can see your point Holly, the really good looking girls out there have there independence and their money, and their freedom. One guy mentioned that yes, some farang guys have a lot of money and can support their wives in grand style. but then that takes away from their self esteem as they are dependent on the guys money and always have to ask him for it. By successfull, I mean the wife has an income of her own, that she feels she has earned, not just given to her. If she feels she has earned the money herself in her own business, then she feels more empowered and able to give the money away to her relatives or whatever rathar than having to ask farang husband on bended knee all the time for some extra cash. I am not saying every guy should find a bar girl and start a new bar. there are lots of other businesses to get into like a restaurant, a massage place, a beauty salon etc. I am just saying it is probably unfair to take a girl out of a bar and expect her to sit home all day watching the soaps and making your bacon and eggs or fish and chips or whatever. In the San Francisco Bay area, most woman have careers, but since careers are lacking in hua hin, maybe a small shop will do. The men stay home and take care of the kids, and tend to the house. Now I am not saying all farang guys should do this, but if it makes her happy , why not? I think of the bars as a big open air matchmaking arena. it sure beats the heck out of internet dating or other matchmaking services.

[gooze]

Found this old threa and found myself laughing quitely.

My second wife was a "bar girl" all be it not from Thailand. I by the way did not meet her in the bar as I had known her long before she chose that occupastion. Telling my mother what she did for a living was quite easy my mothers response was " so son did you never make a mistake in your life?'.

What I am saying to those of you who judjing by some of these posts are slightly embarrassed by your girlfriends previous occupations, is do not be.

None of us are perfect and who gave us the right to judge other people.

[Kraka's Dad]

Very well said.

People are too willing to condem otheres when they are far from perfect themselves.

[redzonerocker]

i have read this post a few times to & i agree with gooze on this.people are far to critical & judgemental & nobody is perfect, thats for sure.
as for bg's,the options are pretty limited if you have few or no academic qualifications, there isn't the luxury of the welfare system in thai.
most girls are working bars to support their family & for that they deserve a little credit.of course there are good & bad scenarios as is with every walk of life.
not every bg should be tarred with the same brush & even if they are the predatory type, they're still human & deserve a little courtesy.
seems the biggest critics are the guys that shag around the los, meet a girl they particularly like & then expect them to wait around for 6 months until their next visit, living off promises without substance.
love can happen to anyone & when it does, it has no barriers.

[PeteC]

as for bg's,the options are pretty limited if you have few or no academic qualifications, there isn't the luxury of the welfare system in thai.

As a side note, there are many, many girl students from good families who have found it necessary to supplement their income. This is either for play money to wear the latest fashions, or to help pay their university tuition.

They either are on call from the higher class clubs where they register, or work in the spa's (not massage parlors) and meet wealthy Thai's and farangs that way.

They don't seem to think it is such a stain on their reputation or future life. This is Asia, thinking is different. They do what they need to do to get what they want to get. Pete