Sex tourist and backpacker experiences [split thread]

[Wanderlust]

Admin note: this thread was originally part of another so reading may not flow in places as I have deleted the nonsense, we apologise for this. The original thread regarding age differences can be found here:
http://www.huahinafterdark.com/forum/vi ... php?t=1516

Mike,
I seem to be replying to you all the time! (on the forum in general not specifically this thread). Most, if not all, of what you have said is true, but there is the argument that you 'pay for sex' whatever woman you are with, but it may be more indirect in some cases. Your statement that a lot of the girls (I assume you mean bar girls) have Thai boyfriends is not strictly true too - I think you can say 'some' do but the majority that I have met and talked to (without there being anything going on between me and them, so I am just talking to them as people) have previously been with a Thai man who has got her pregnant and dumped her swiftly afterwards. Most of them have said that they never want to be with a Thai man again, and on that note there is also the issue of Thai men beating up their wives or girlfriends, another common reason given. Whether this is just a ploy to gain sympathy from gullible farangs or is the truth is extremely hard to discern but I have heard it from girls who I have already told that I have no interest in being with them, for money or otherwise.

Your point about them leaving jobs in factories to work in bars is true, but the underlying reason is that the factory job very likely pays so little for very long hours it means they often don't have enough money to send home as is expected by many families (particularly if she is the eldest daughter) particularly when the daughter has left a child at home with the family to be looked after while she works.

There are so many differences between our countries, cultures and expectations that comparing a hooker in England with one in Thailand is not a fair comparison. Women in our countries have many more opportunities to get a decent reasonably paid job, and don't have the same pressures put on them by a distinctly male oriented society as here in Thailand. Add to that the population imbalance where there are far more women than men (as far as I know much more so than in Europe), the poor standard of education in many areas, and the apparent laziness of many Thai men and you have vastly differing societies which you cannot judge by the same standards. I think a better comparison (if one can be made) is that bar girls in Thailand are very similar to the girls who regularly frequent pubs and nightclubs in the UK, actively looking for a guy to sleep with or at the very least to buy them a load of drinks. Where this comparison fails is that, as you so rightly say, the girls in Thailand are younger and much better looking! In addition they are actually much more eager to please (not talking sexually here although I think that applies too) - I have previously woken up after a late night with (yes I confess!) a bar girl to find her cleaning my home from top to bottom.

As I have posted before on a different thread, women in all countries want to have a financially secure future (nothing wrong with that) and most often the most direct route to this is by meeting and marrying a man with money/prospects; in a perfect world they will also like the guy and be attracted to him but these are secondary considerations. Men on the other hand will normally only be interested in a woman that he finds attractive, so it is no surprise what happens in Thailand! (note to self - start looking for women with money...)

This wasn't just aimed at what Mike said, but also to give britwoman more insight to something she is clearly interested in. I don't claim to know everything about this but I learn something every day! For the record I first came to Thailand on a south east Asia backpacking trip when I was 37, six and a half years ago and have spent most of that time in Thailand, and have been to many non tourist areas in that time, and particularly some of the poorer areas in Isaan so I have some idea where these girls are coming from in terms of their social conditions. I hope i have added some to the discussion.

[shakin' boxcar joe]

I have previously woken up after a late night with (yes I confess!) a bar girl to find her cleaning my home from top to bottom.

Wonderful stuff , i hope you checked to make sure that she did the horrible bit behind the loo.

..... and that cupboard under the sink.

obviously cleaning the house was preferable to an early morning grind with you !!

well britwoman , when was the last time you did that for your man ??? (clean the house that is , not give him an early morning jump.)

[tuktukmike]

Hi Wanderlust

No problem replying,

I think you underestimate the number of bar girls who have Thai boyfriends and even Husbands.

We were talking about this very subject recently and you would be surprised just how many are attached, do you really think they would tell you otherwise.

So the fact that they dont earn a lot in a factory or whatever means that when they work in a bar it means they are not classed as the same as girls doing the same job in england, come on we both know that none of us want to look upon them like that but of course this is exactly what they are.

I am the first to admit i am no angel and paid the price, but lets just accept that a 20 year old girl you see with a pot bellied 60year old is not with him for his looks or charm.

We all love Thailand for what Thailand is, there are plenty of other countries with hot sun and cheap lifestyle but we choose here in our droves, why do you think that is????

Mike, Flame away.

[Wanderlust]

Mike,
It is quite possible that I am underestimating how many bar girls have Thai husbands/boyfriends as I can only judge it on what I have seen and been told. I guess what I would like you to tell me is how do you know that you are not overestimating? I think I would be more prepared to accept the view that many bar girls have a string of farang part time 'boyfriends' (i.e. those that come here once or twice a year and are sending money to support their 'loved one') than that a majority of them have Thai partners, as this is what I have personally come across (not that that is any better!). I suspect the truth is that some of them have Thai partners, some manage several farang 'boyfriends' and the majority are actually single apart from their short time liaisons. I have heard many a bar girl strongly criticise another for being 'no good' in that she is pretending to be loyal to one guy while having several others on the go, sending her money. But then maybe I have just been gullible enough to believe it...On the other hand I can understand why the girls would be like that when they are let down so often by both Thai and farang men.

[lomuamart]

To me there are two distinct situations over here.
First, the commonly portrayed bald, fat, old loser who comes over, gets viagred up and thinks he's 20 again with a 20 year old stunner on his arm. This type of person generally is here for less than a month and then goes back to wherever he crawled out from. He's happy, the girl/s certainly are with the money - so what. Remember, there's plenty of farangs in their mid 20's or so who come over here and do the same or worse.
Secondly, in my 7.5 years experience of living here, the vast majority of farangs who settle and find a lasting relationship, do so with women who are much closer to their own ages.
These are generalisations, but fairly true I reckon.
The portrait of a 60 year old man, living here with a 20 year old girl does happen, but I bet you not nearly as much as the media would have us believe back home.
As an aside, I would tend to agree with Tuktuk about Thai bar girls and their Thai boyfriends/husbands. "They" say there's no such thing as a pimp in Thailand. The girls are semi freelance. Rubbish. The pimps are the Thai partners. When I had a bar on Bintabart all those years ago, I reckon that 60%+ of the girls were sent out to work by their Thai partners and woe betide them if they didn't return home each night with a decent amount of money for him indoors as he couldn't then afford to keep himself yabaed up and stay at home all day.
Just my tuppence worth.

[tuktukmike]

Exactly,

I used to stay in patpong sometimes and you would not believe the amount of girls who would walk into KFC at 2 am and hand over their money to the Thai boyfriend.

And the same happens here in Hua Hin, i have seen many times the girls sloap off as their boyfriend wants to see them.

These girls end up with nothing and when they are not earning enough they are dumped and passed on to the next creep, i have never understood the hold these Thai men have on them.

I had a friend here about two years ago who thought he had some luck with a girl he met in a Resturant only to find out the waiter encouraging him to ask her out was in fact her husband.

I agree that most of the younger men out here find girls much their own age, but not the older ones who live here.

Its impossable for myself or anyone to give an exact figure on percentage of girls with Thai partners but from my own experiance i would say 60% was a low estimate.

Mike.

[Rider]

Before you start totally slagging off the thai blokes, lets not forget that the thai ladies can be just as harsh and evil too. Many thai blokes who worked in the bars in Patong beach as cashiers had girlfriends who would violently attack their blokes if they stepped out of line with the booze or women! I'm talking blackened faces and knife attacks here! And out of blind loyalty to their girls the guys would not make reference to their injuries!
As for the girls (also cashiers) they were after the farangs to beat the band!
Sisters doin' it for themselves.

Its bad deal with the husbands and boyfriends who put the girls into the bars but lets not go bleary eyed here those girls know what they are doing and will be every bit as ruthless as the thai men. To sum it up, a policeman who was helping me with a theft enquiry summed it up "Thai lady, I do not trust."

[philip]

My wife died of cancer in 2002 and my daughters are 33 and 29, living with their respective partners in Germany and England, so the question is academic.

Nevertheless, would I hypothetically "take my family" to Hua Hin ? Of course, why ever not ? My activities are never offensive to the general public - the worst thing I do is occasionally hold hands in the street with my g/f - I haven't witnessed other men in my circumstances behaving in an overtly exhibitionist fashion in public, so there's nothing for young children or those of a nervous disposition to be offended by. Any family would enjoy Hua Hin for the beach and the night market, golf courses etc. Far more so perhaps than Pattaya for example. I wouldn't trawl my family, when they were young, through the soi's, but even there, what could offend children ? Bars with men and women drinking and playing pool ? Mind you, if you take kids there late at night, then I would question your judgement !

So there you have it. I may be more of an exception than I, myself, realise, or maybe not, but let your survey continue and I will await other postings with interest. I have done nothing to be ashamed of... I am perhaps a bit of a lad, but I'm not in a relationship in the UK, so am a free agent.

Regards

Philip

[bill]

there's hookers in every country worldwide, the difference is in the goverment's and laws. 3,000 years ago there were hooker's. everywhere and for all time they march on. say i bet they ever have a few in england. i'am more worried about murder and mayham, islam and drugs, and of course public indecency. when i lived in hh, for 2 years, i very seldom witnessed thai's prancing amok in foul and loathsome fashion. i did see farangs flaunting themselves in ways that made me ashamed of the human race and embarrassed of the white race. in cha-am frangs beach topless, meaning ladies with no shame abuse the public trust. i know it's a euro thing and euros who do this should be publicly flogged or at least decapitated. once i was peddling in town and stopped for a water break at the snak shop across from the hilton. a euro is walking up the street from the beach and, lord dear lord, appears to be naked. me and the thais sitting at the tables in front of snak shop are staring stuned at the naked farang. he was wearing a small carring bag in front of his private parts. he looked nude. all of us was to stunned to speak.

[Stormy]

When i was in bangkok a couple of years ago, the biggest group of sex predators were british female backpackers who wanted to sh*g anything that moved, some of them would have made the girls in patpong blush

[Rider]

When i was in bangkok a couple of years ago, the biggest group of sex predators were british female backpackers who wanted to sh*g anything that moved, some of them would have made the girls in patpong blush

Hot Damn! wish I was in Bangers then!
Almost all the Brit backpacker girls I've seen in Thailand tend to bring with them either their boyfriend/husband or a set of puritan values!
'I'm not in Thailand for pullin' I heard one woman remark to someone!
'Just as well' I muttered silently, 'Cause I ain't pullin' ya!'

[Heebio]

Not been unknown to see euro backpackers trawling Bintabaht looking for a pull and a cheap bed for the night...and I'm talking lookers. Funnily enough, there were no takers! Nuff said...

[philip]

Why do people always assume that the younger girl in company with a mature chap is a hooker ? And don't let me have a stream of allegations that I'm naiive, I'm up to my neck in allegators as it is ! Ok, it may be one's assumed role to be a "sugar-daddy" and whilst not exactly handing the girl cash, one pays indirectly for their company,(something that happens all over the world, not just in HH). Some girls just can't be bothered with young guys (butterfly men) who don't listen to them and treat them right, oh and allegedly last a couple of seconds on the job..... Youth and vigour (hair trigger or not) can be overcome by age and cunning ! (or am I too much a "cunning linguist", perhaps) ?

Entertaining thread.
Philip

[Jaime]

On the subject of puritan female (and male) backpackers seeking 'The Real Thailand' and in the context of this whole age difference/sex tourist thread, it strikes me as ironic that it is in fact many of those who start out as sex tourists who are infinitely more likely to ultimately experience 'The Real Thailand' than any self rightous backpacker, no matter how many elephant treks and set-up hill tribe villages they've been to.

[lomuamart]

That makes sense to me. The '''sex tourist", whatever that means, is far more likely to have visited the far flung provinces of los than the politically correct traveller who will always stick to the well beaten trails because they believe it's an adventure. Dream on.