George W Bush Jnr
Senior Exec in charge of Election Fraud
The White House
Washington
USA
Dear Mr Bush,
I am aware, from the incessant broadcasts you make on TV to anyone that will listen to your dribbles, that you are still looking for a certain Osama Bin Laden, late of the Sudan and Afghanistan.
I know that you have at your command the considerable resources of both the CIA and FBI, and some of my old colleagues tell me that you have convinced the UK Intelligence bods to chip in and help. However, it seems that they cant find him, no matter how much money they get allocated.
Well George, I can save you a packet and let you know where he is right now...
He is currently driving a Tuc-Tuc, (thats a type of taxi), in downtown Hua Hin, Thailand. He currently goes by the name of Osama Bin Tuc-Tuc, and runs the Laughing Freedom Fighter Taxi Company.
I asked Mr Osama why he was driving a tuc-tuc now, and he kindly explained that after you blew his houses up and froze all his bank accounts he was forced to take a lower paid but safer job.
He also said to tell you that "your mother is an infidel whore, your father is a capitalist pig, and your wife smells of wee".
I have attached photographic evidence, and hope this will be sufficient enough for you to find Mr Bin TucTuc.
As I am not too materialistic, and happy as hell the way I am, perhaps you could donate the 10 million dollar reward to Iraqi and Afghani redevelopment programs so that the money can rebuild all the schools and hospitals....ah sorry Military Installations....that your hamfisted and incompetant army and airforce have so successfully blown up. And there was me thinking that was what terrorists do....
I hope this letter finds you well and that your nanny has managed to hide the pretzels after you choked on one last time you got your grubby hand in the cookie jar.
Take care, and remember, in a few years this will all be over and you can go back to reading kiddies books, playing at cowboys, and abusing donkeys or whatever you get up to on that farm of yours.
Yours Faithfully,
Drunken Dave
c/o P&P Bar
