And I thought this was going to be different.

[Governor]

You took her to PARIS? And your in line for a Civil Service Pension? Good grief - send me your address quick! I could do the Mia Noi thing no sweat

As usual, so much helpful and supportive advice, just when he needs it, and this then this comes along.

[Georgy Porgy]

About time you had a woman's perspective.
All really, really sad, but the boys have been weeping into their beer pots for long enough.

[Wanderlust]

Hardly crying into beer pots - here is what I said (as the first reply to the initial post), and check the date!

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:22 pm Post subject:
Sorry to hear this, and you do need to consult a lawyer but the process you are about to embark on is not easy and very likely you will come out of it without the girl, and probably without much to show for it. I can almost guarantee that your girl will react badly to the idea of a lawyer being involved, and you have effectively signed away your legal rights to anything involving the land when you bought the property, although the house would be legally 50% yours if your marriage ended. If you want to PM me I can give you the name and number of a lawyer in Bangkok that I have used but I would think long and hard before doing anything.

I'm sure he now wishes that he had done something then, but whatever happened it was going to be a mess. The problem of course at that time was he still felt that things could work out between him and the girl and was doing everything he could to solve it that way. Obviously now he knows better but he can't be blamed for trying - I think it shows true heart. And this is why guys get screwed over so often - most of us actually believe in the idea of love, whereas in my experience a lot of women do not. They are much more pragmatic most of the time and their main concern is safeguarding the future.

[anothermug?]

The support and advice I have received has been helping me get through this, and may act as a warning to others.

I certainly have not thought that the guys were crying in their beers, and I think that the "womans perspective" was designed to lighten the thread - well I hope so anyway. Of course Dawn has already supplied a womans perspective, which was, as you would expect from her, supportive.

A number of Thai woman have been very supportive to me, my lawyer's PA offerred me the use of her condo rent free and an interpreter has been helping me for just the costs of meals and travel, so that proves that the majority of Thai women are sound.

The facts remain that I worked worked for almost 40 years in a very stressfull job and had hoped to enjoy a fairly comfortable retirement, this woman and her greed and laziness has stolen it from me, she would have got it all anyway on my demise together with a widows pesion for life, but apparrently couldn't wait.

So as I have said before I really have a number of choices, I can walk away and start again and keep my health, I can continue to fight her or I can bulldoze the house.

Bulldozing it is very tempting, but as has been pointed out another guy is living there and he might be an innocent victim, and as smug as I might be after the event it would drag me down to her level. I could continue to fight her, or at least try to negotiate a settlement which would give me something, this is my favoured option but given her unpredictability I'm not convinced this would work as at the moment she has taken everything I have and I doubt if she will give anything up, though I am getting another legal opinion on Monday, or I could simply walk away. This might be what I have to do, but I am reluctant to let her get away with it, only to do it to someone else when the money runs out.

It has been suggested that I set up a website with her details and the details of what has happened to me, I like that idea. I am also happy to pm details of her and the house, if anyone thinks it would be of use to them, with the caveat that you only have my side of the story, as she says it could all be my fault.

I am going to the UK for a few days next week, and on my return I will decide what I am going to do.

Thanks again everyone.

[DawnHRD]

Take care.

[STEVE G]

Bulldozing it is very tempting, but as has been pointed out another guy is living there and he might be an innocent victim, and as smug as I might be after the event it would drag me down to her level.

My partner tells me that another farang built house was back-hoed to death in her district of Buriram yesterday. I asked her why nobody tried to stop it and she said that if you have paid to build the house and you then knock it down, there is nothing anyone can do about it. Obviously it might not be so easy in Hua Hin and you might not be comfortable with the idea.

[richard]

only bulldoze if you've your flight booked. (one way ticket too)

[nevets]

I am sorry to here all this AM and it can happen to any of us, i am in a shaky 10yr marriage and who knows the future , we all here the horror stories .
I don't think its legal to knock down your half of the house and could have problems with the men in brown. But rest assured any money that she has will not last long and she will be back working at what she does best , good luck my friend.

[fach3003]

You never do know whats round the corner...
Im happily married (3yrs) in the UK little one due etc
We will be living there by 2010.... Im sure it will work
out she is more worried about losing me....

Mind Ill probably come back to my House one night
after a night out and my key dont work...
The gardiner giving me dirty looks and driving my pick up
around.....etc etc

You can trust yourself in life....then no one will let you down....

Im not that cold hearted mind... just a bit mindful after all the stories...

So Sad n annoying to read the thread (JCB is on the slow boat!)

[margaretcarnes]

Yes my post was indeed intended as light relief (pardon the expression) and you deserve a little time to cry into the beer after hopes are dashed. On the house front though Khun Richard gives sound advice. Have you flight booked for the getaway!
Seriously, this issue made me think about the times when my female Thai friends would share their dreams of meeting a good farang. They would ask if this 'good man' and of course I always hoped that they would indeed live happily ever after. Many do - but problems often seem to arise when property - and not least family - get involved. I do think that a lot are genuine, but come under pressure from family who see golden eggs paving their way to retirement.
For the record, it happens in other cultures as well. My brother is happily married to a Polynesian, but her family back home have dis-inherited her from their business and reallocated shares. No doubt a case of 'farang can keep her now'

[Governor]

Whoops entered in error.

[anothermug?]

Well madam never seems to amaze me, she called me up saying she will give me a divorce, if I come down to Hua Hin she will sign the papers.

I explained that I have engaged a lawyer and he will be in contact shortly, it seems that she has actually acted outside of the law and I actually have a good case.

Well madam will not answer the phone to my lawyer and hasn't responded to the registered letter he sent her.

I feel that this is going to drag on and on.


[quote="Randy Cornhole"]
It reminds me of an incident a few years ago. I was out of town near the Kings palace on an errand and just about to return to town when I saw a soldier standing outside the palace grounds, and thought what the heck i'll offer him a lift. He was so taken aback that he stared at me for a while, he then climbed aboard and we proceeded into town. On dropping him off he was so greatful that he offered to basically kill someone for me should I require it!!! :
[/quote]

Randy, he didn't give you a phone number did he? :?

[Randy Cornhole]

Sadly no, but he's easy to recognise - He was olive skinned with an army tracksuite on, black hair, about 5' 5" and spoke fluent Thai...

[anothermug?]

Hope no one was offended by the request to Randy for details of his hit man, it was a bit of fun and meant to lighten my position a bit.

I have a horrible feeling that she may have liquidated my assets and absconded with the proceeds. I know that irreplacable personal items have gone missing and as they were no good to her have probably been disposed of. She will not take calls from my lawyer and she has not responded to his letters, I need to find out if she is still there.

I am reluctant to drive down to Hua Hin and drive round the vicinity, as I am scared of antagonising her if I see her, and do not trust her.

Does anybody have details of a, reasonably priced local investigator, who could legally check out the position. I suppose my fall back position would be to offer a police officer a few Baht to do likewise. In any case I would need to take advice from my lawyer.

[margaretcarnes]

Sorry to have to say this but I think hiring anyone would just be throwing good money after bad. The GF could be anywhere - even abroad with another farang by now. Finding an investigator or lawyer you can trust will cost, and not necessarily produce any results.
You've tried to be reasonable and do things more the Western way. It doesn't work. I think you said earlier that the property was put in the GFs name? If so it will probably end up occupied by family/friends at some stage. Reverting to one of your original ideas of firing it could be a disaster.
It's a no win situation, but could you ask a farang friend just to keep an eye on the place for a while? Maybe if it stands empty you might want to risk moving back in and spend some time in HH trying to sort it out.