How Do You Handle Living Here?

General chat about life in the Land Of Smiles. Discuss expat life, relationship issues and all things generally Thailand and Asia related.
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KelpieKiss
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Re: feedback...

Post by KelpieKiss »

edwinadanish wrote:Can anyone here imagine being in a shop or bar in theit home country and hee a sales assistant say to another - 'that's for the foreigner over there' or 'the foreigner wants to get a refund'....?
Have to agree with you on this point. It does my head in being classed as a Farang all the time. Scot's are very different from Germans who are very different from Americans but Thais seem to want to stick us all in one big Farang basket. It happened to me today in MK. I ordered 1 rice but they came with 3. This simple mistake made the girl look like her head was going to explode with confusion. Her supervisor came over and I heard the word 'farang' a few times. Why was it important that I was a farang? Obviously they were saying I was an idiot and must have ordered 3 rice as they tried to charge me for 3. I love MK by the way. :D
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crazy88
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Post by crazy88 »

Fair comments from yourself also Dtaai-Maai .

Adjusting to life in a different country is never easy .Dawns comments earlier regarding those who last and those who do not were very pertinent and accurate IMO . Also IMO were other posts .

I think having the chance to meet a few other HH residents might give Edwina a chance to realise that she is not the only person who has been/going through this transition . When is the next HHAD gathering for example ? Plus all the other groups around that meet for various activities ?

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Re: feedback...

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KelpieKiss wrote:Have to agree with you on this point. It does my head in being classed as a Farang all the time. Scot's are very different from Germans who are very different from Americans but Thais seem to want to stick us all in one big Farang basket. It happened to me today in MK. I ordered 1 rice but they came with 3. This simple mistake made the girl look like her head was going to explode with confusion. Her supervisor came over and I heard the word 'farang' a few times. Why was it important that I was a farang? Obviously they were saying I was an idiot and must have ordered 3 rice as they tried to charge me for 3. I love MK by the way. :D
I think you have to forget about the word 'farang' - in my experience it is rarely being used as an insult and normally as an identification (and avoids pointing which is rude), and this is particularly so if you cannot understand the rest of what they are saying - the word farang springs out at you in a sentence, but for all you know she might have been saying "see that handsome farang over there, I'd really like to get that farang's phone number but how do farang's react to that sort of thing? And to make it worse I've cocked up that farang's order and given him 3 rice when the farang only ordered one" - as she doesn't know your name it is an obvious way to refer to you. The other thing to remember is that very few Thais can identify us by country, even after we speak - most farangs in Thailand are white and there are only subtle differences in appearance which are mainly things like clothing (for example you would never see a Brit in Speedos etc :D ).
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Post by buksida »

I reckon this thread will be a ten pager, there are just so many issues here.
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Post by Korkenzieher »

My own feeling about 'farang' is that it is used a bit like the German 'Auslander', which also means foreigner. I recall a number of situations where people tried to explain to Germans the essentially prejudicial nature of it (and Gaestarbeiter which is really only ever used to clearly non-ethnic Germans/Europeans) to Germans, who just couldn't see it that way. Similarly, Germans will use 'neger' (I won't transate...) fairly freely and without guilt. They are just not seen as being controversial. Those (very few) Germans that seek to insult have other, much more direct ways of doing it and I suspect so do the Thais. I think tone of voice probably gives a better guide of whether some insult is intended, than the use of the word itself. I would hazard a guess that any Friday night in a northern pub would throw up a lot more words than you would get in Thailand.
Last edited by Korkenzieher on Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by johnnyk »

Falang is simply a generic that differentiates "them" and "us".
The way people use "guy" to differentiate the man over there from the woman beside him.

Wanderlust says, "The other thing to remember is that very few Thais can identify us by country, even after we speak - most farangs in Thailand are white and there are only subtle differences in appearance." Precisely.

Lots of westerners can't recognize other westerners.
Who is German and who is Austrian? Is he a Kiwi or an Aussie?
Which one is the Canadian, which the American? Who's the Irishman and who's the Scot?

If someone refers to a Scottish stranger as a Brit does that mean he thinks the Scot is an idiot? (No, but the Scots think the Brits are idiots :wink: )

So why does hearing the word falang make some automatically assume the Thais consider him an idiot? :twisted:

Actually trying to learn some Thai might help ease paranoia about the f-word. But that could require effort and engagement with more Thais than sales clerks and taxi drivers.
Last edited by johnnyk on Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Korkenzieher »

Farang is Foreigner. Falang is guava (as in the fruit) unless somebody explained it to me wrong. Though they do seem to be being used almost interchangeably now.
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farang

Post by lindosfan1 »

You are right it is a Thai joke when they see a farang eating a farang
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Post by SuperTonic »

Seems to me the OP has some issues. You chose to come to Thailand, in doing so presumably you did your research (you did do some didn't you?), and so knew what to expect.

Thailand is VASTLY different to the West. Everything. All the basic little assumptions each of us makes can be pretty much thrown out of the window. Some of the differences are financial, some are cultural, some are to do with family structures, some are to do with religious beliefs, some are to do with language (eg I consider that Thai directness is related to the very direct nature of the Thai language).

When you come here, you need to accept that difference, and if you want to change things, you'll find it pretty hard. And who'd want to? We all came to Thailand because we loved Thailand, not because we loved our home countries (we may well do, but face it, if we're here it's because we love Thailand more). So why try to turn Thailand into Denmark or the UK?

Ultimately, it is a wonderful thing to have diversity. What we call development isn't always a good thing. Why the big rush to have sanitised roads, western ideals, etc? It's a developing country, they're doing things their way, and they'll get some things right and some things wrong. None of us can consider that our home countries developed 100% along perfect lines, so maybe by trying something different Thailand will find a better way.

We have a right to an opinion, but we should not just try to create a mini-Europe. Just think of the reaction in the Daily Mail if immigrant communities in the UK tried to push Shariah law? It'd never happen. Same here. We can't force change.

Regarding education, Thais don't know so much about what's going on in Europe or America, nor about foreign history on the whole. But be honest, how much do you know about Asian politics and history, or rather how much did you know before you came out here? I can honestly say my knowledge was poor, but I had a good grasp of European and American history. We tend to regionalise learning, that happens everywhere.

Thais DO want to learn. Most are VERY keen to learn better English. They want to learn it to better their prospects. Indeed, most Thai kids that I know are vastly more driven to learn than their falang counterparts, partly due to culture, and partly due to a greater perceived necessity, compared to falang kids who have parents splashing money everywhere, get everything for nothing, and thus figure they'll never have to actually work (controversial I know but think about it for a bit.. many falang kids out here are horrendously spoilt [Scandanavians and Dutch less than other nationalities for some reason]).

Anyway, in short, like it or lump it, this is Thailand. Adapt, or bugger off somewhere else. I have a funny feeling the latter is more appropriate.
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Post by SuperTonic »

Christ sorry didn't realise I'd gone on that bloody long.. Sorry about War & Peace folks..
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Post by buksida »

I think this thread touches many issues with all of us that have decided to move here, this is why we all want to voice an opinion. Personally I find the longer I stay here the more things frustrate me as I'm getting older and want to be a little more responsible (having kids here puts a different twist on things). But the longer I stay the more I learn and the more I have to adapt if I want to continue ... call it socio-evolution if you will.

When I first came here many years ago the place just blew my mind, it was fantastic I loved it, years on the novelty factor has worn off but I still see things on a daily basis that either delight or frustrate me ... where else would you get such diversity of life and culture? Thats what makes it worth living here rather than just existing back in farangland.
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Post by dtaai-maai »

Korkenzieher wrote:My own feeling about 'farang' is that it is used a bit like the German 'Auslander', which also means foreigner.
On balance, I think Wanderlust is right, in that the word isn't meant to be offensive. I believe the Chinese and Japanese also have a specific word for European/Caucasian foreigners. But I don't think it applies to all foreigners. If they're Asian you'll probably hear a (best guess) nationality. If they're black/African, all you'll hear is the colour.
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Post by edwinadanish »

I read with interest all the replies to this thread....

I started this question from a genuine reason to understand how to deal with life here and I think you all so much for your advice.

For all those who simply recommended dealing with it or 'buggering off' I can't really say it was very helpful but I hope it helped you.

Nobody seems to have seen my point or maybe does not want to see my point that it is about beliefs and values (for me anyway)...

I have been a Buddhist for more than 20 yers which is what brought me to Thailand initially because I wanted a higher level of belief than just the consumerist media notion.

What I have found here is nothing approaching Buddhism in daily life. Who would argue that there is more cheating and deceit in this country than anywhere else yet it is 97 per cent Buddhist. So where do all the true Buddhists hide then?

Again it seems that it is easy to avoid the central issue of principles and morals to which only a couple of respendents are honest enough to address the issue, the rest just hide behind the "it's not for you if you don't like it' response.

Can someone please explain to me why Thai people are so special that thay cannotdeal with any form of comment, constructive criticism or change?

The overall picture I get her is that it is lovely to live here - I agree - and the peolpe are generally nice - I agree - but we cannot ever, ever say anything to help becasue they are all too perfect already and we arwe not worthy......

Does no-one have the energy/guts/will/values to even have an opinion?

No offence to anyone here in person but maybe it is easy to do nothing here. That's fine but please accept that living here in Thailand and doing nothing is a particular stance and not a general one. Some of us want to live her AND do something whatever it might be andwe look to make positive improvements.

I was never religious enough in the traditional sene but I really admired old friends who followed their vocation and improved the third world. Thailand is now the second world at least so no need for that but surely it is ok to want to change the glaringly obvious issues that make this place bad.

No-one wants to bring Thailand to be the UK or Denmark, just help a little to improve the life of the masses and create a safe and fair world here at least...
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Post by johnnyk »

just help a little to improve the life of the masses

How about volunteering in a village school?

Or helping a person start a small business?
Many people upcountry live hand-to-mouth and its very difficult for them to find an extra 4-5000 baht as start-up capital for a food stand.
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Post by Georgy Porgy »

Edwinadanish, I feel your idealism and need to make a difference. You are coming across circumstances that question your own beliefs - you thought you had come to a Buddhist country to envelope and approve of your own Buddhism.

Change is made one step at a time, one person at a time. If you are put on this earth to facilitate change, then first change yourself. You need to be at peace with your surroundings, to find where change is needed - at the moment you are as a clanging cymbal or beating drum. You haven't actually found peace within.

If you feel the need to repond with blood pressure rising. Then you haven't found the peace within.

Make change by living the example, that is true change. Try it.
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