A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
Penis......
Yes you read it right.... HIS PENIS
According to the Nurse attending, after their wild session of love making,
The patient's 'girl friend' went to his pants pocket to find a cigarette
Pack, and found his wedding band instead. She got so mad at him, she used
Petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep......
I don't know what's worse:
1/. Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2/. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3/. Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring."
IS IT SCOTCH?
ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, THE CHILDREN BROUGHT GIFTS FOR THEIR TEACHER.
THE FLORIST'S SON BROUGHT THE TEACHER A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.
THE CANDY STORE OWNER'S DAUGHTER GAVE THE TEACHER A PRETTY BOX OF CANDY.
THEN THE LIQUOR STORE OWNERS SON BROUGHT UP A BIG HEAVY BOX.
THE TEACHER LIFTED IT UP A ND NOTED THAT IT WAS LEAKING A LITTLE BIT.
SHE TOUCHED A DROP OF THE LIQUID WITH HER FINGER AND TASTED IT.
"IS IT WINE?" SHE GUESSED.
"NO" THE LITTLE BOY REPLIED. SHE TASTED ANOTHER DROP AND ASKED "CHAMPAGNE?"
....
"NO" SAID THE LITTLE BOY...."IT'S A PUPPY!"
