Thanks Steve. To clarify, I was thinking would it be possible to clone a person from a turd. If so, I am worried about the possible ethical and moral consequencies. How would the cloned turd be explained the facts of life and by who? When the cloned turd asks "where did I come from", what could we tell him/her/it? Would "skid marks on your dad's underpants" sound better than "a lavatory latrine"?STEVE G wrote:Bit confused about your question Jockey, what are you trying to clone, yourself, or the turd?
If you were trying to clone yourself, you would have to be a bit careful. For instance if you had steak for dinner the night before you might get things mixed up and end up with an Aberdeen Angus, ( or a Water Buffalo, depending on the restaurant! )
Bowel Movements - Firm, soft, sloppy or liquid?
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Wanderlust
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Guess
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As everybody knows I am not the sort of poster who strays off topic.
So I will get back on track.
I made a day trip to Myanamar today and eat in an excelusive hotel. The food was excellent. I has two prawn dishes, one with a light curry sauce and the other with oyster sauce. All server of coursse with steamed rice. It was washed down witha bottle of water.
So that sums up my digestive input today.
As for the output when I retuned to my home in Hua Hin. I got an unpleasasnt surprise. I suddenly got the calling and kneew straight awasy that a had to deal with the isuue as soon as plossible. The product resembled a sort of Madras sauce that you would expect to have sereved to you in a late night Indian Restaraunt in the Kilburn High Road after a heavy night on the piss.
I now have suspicions. Could it be popssible that immigartion officials are injecting bacteria into the aircaon systems in their offices at the depature point in an attempt to deter you to leave the country. The assumption with most people would be that the bacteria had been picked up in the foreign country and therfor they should return to Thailand as soon as possible.
What are other posters thought on this..
So I will get back on track.
I made a day trip to Myanamar today and eat in an excelusive hotel. The food was excellent. I has two prawn dishes, one with a light curry sauce and the other with oyster sauce. All server of coursse with steamed rice. It was washed down witha bottle of water.
So that sums up my digestive input today.
As for the output when I retuned to my home in Hua Hin. I got an unpleasasnt surprise. I suddenly got the calling and kneew straight awasy that a had to deal with the isuue as soon as plossible. The product resembled a sort of Madras sauce that you would expect to have sereved to you in a late night Indian Restaraunt in the Kilburn High Road after a heavy night on the piss.
I now have suspicions. Could it be popssible that immigartion officials are injecting bacteria into the aircaon systems in their offices at the depature point in an attempt to deter you to leave the country. The assumption with most people would be that the bacteria had been picked up in the foreign country and therfor they should return to Thailand as soon as possible.
What are other posters thought on this..
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
I've already reported on my unfortunate visit to Ranong months ago when I had to use their toilet facilities. As I said then, it was a distater area afterwards. Having left my passport with the official to get stamped back in whilst I ran, screaming to the convenience, I'm surprised I got it back.
So, I'm not sure about your theory, Guess. As I started to feel unwell coming back from Burma, I think it much more likely that those sneaky lovers of juntas probably poisoned the can of Chang I drank to ensure their compadres were shat on when I returned.
Now, if I'd done the sensible thing and had a bottle of Myanmar beer?????
So, I'm not sure about your theory, Guess. As I started to feel unwell coming back from Burma, I think it much more likely that those sneaky lovers of juntas probably poisoned the can of Chang I drank to ensure their compadres were shat on when I returned.
Now, if I'd done the sensible thing and had a bottle of Myanmar beer?????
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Guess
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Lomu,
Yes you are probably right there.
By drinking beer Chang you will automatically be labelled as an enemy of the state.
Photographs of you consuming the imported anti state beer are probably hung on a wall in a cellar of the military intelligence building in Yangon.
Yes you are probably right there.
By drinking beer Chang you will automatically be labelled as an enemy of the state.
Photographs of you consuming the imported anti state beer are probably hung on a wall in a cellar of the military intelligence building in Yangon.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
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Guess
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Stories of ghosts and phantoms abound in Thailand. However I could never of dreamt that they would ever appear on this topic which has so far been of a serious, scientific and factual nature.
I heard a story only yesterday that proved me wrong. Unfortunately the originator of the story seems to be suffering from writers cramp (or maybe just plain fear of the unknown) at the moment.
The story is the gossip of Hua Hin at the moment. I even heard two retired old ladies talking about it next to the pie fridge in the Shopping Mall yesterday.
I do not listen to gossip myself so await the information from a first hand witness to the bizzare event.
So watch this space.
This story will make the X-Files look like the Simpsons.
I heard a story only yesterday that proved me wrong. Unfortunately the originator of the story seems to be suffering from writers cramp (or maybe just plain fear of the unknown) at the moment.
The story is the gossip of Hua Hin at the moment. I even heard two retired old ladies talking about it next to the pie fridge in the Shopping Mall yesterday.
I do not listen to gossip myself so await the information from a first hand witness to the bizzare event.
So watch this space.
This story will make the X-Files look like the Simpsons.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
Hardly think this is x-files material guess but here goes... I wasn't going to report this because I was afraid people might think I am losing my mind. Let me tell you however, the following facts are completely true. A couple of days ago I felt the need to 'go'. I sat there on the throne for a minute or two but nothing happened. It was a bit of an anti-climax and a bit disappointing. Imagine my surprise when I stood up and there before me, lying in the pan water, were two turd cakes. I was baffled. Could I have made these turds without my knowing? It occured to me I am on medication, but anti biotics should not lead to senility in the toilet department? It then occured to me that if I use toilet paper I would be able to tell if the two turd cakes were indeed mine, but the test was inconclusive. 
Just found this on another forum - thought it might give this thread a blast of much needed wind (in its sails)!!!
All seems quite scientific???
www.heptune.com/farts.html
All seems quite scientific???
www.heptune.com/farts.html
Talk is cheap
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Guess
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Fascinating stuff caller. I think Jockey should post his story on that site just to see if it is possible for someone to mistake a fart for a poo.
It si good to see that there are people out there who study these important issues
It si good to see that there are people out there who study these important issues
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
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Guess
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With all this world cup, land ownership and now Italian club football the topics about real life seem to have move back stage.
Time I think to get it going again.
I stay most of the time in the same house in the same town year in year out and apart from the odd case of mild food poisoning that I am convinced is caused by the hygene illiterate staff that I employ and the refusal to comprehend that something that they can not see could not possibly make a person sick and further incomprehension that different people have diffferent resistances from others dependant upon how and where they spent their early lives.
Other than the odd exception I am consistently of solid consistency sometimes to the point (or perhaps the lack of one) of mild discomfort or pain sometime referred to as constipation but not as extreme as that. A would descibe it more like giving birth to a 1.5 baby.
However I have just made a trip to Malaysia where on of the most attractive things for me is the diverse choice of food available to you. I particularly like Malysian Chinese food and Indian food. I found after the second day that I was spending much more time on the dunny than I would do at home and the consistency was becoming looser. I knocked the Indian on the head for a day or so but to no avail.
It occured to me that travel itself may be an ingredient to the change in the workings of the digestive system as much as the food. There have bee other posts relating to changes in bowel movements after trips to other areas. Could it be true that apart from the change in diet that the actual process of travelling could have a negative effect.
What experiences have others had. BTW the only case of extreme constipation that I have ever had was on a week's vaction in Edinburgh. At the opposite end of the spectrum the worst case I have had was in Dublin. I suspect there though it was food poisoning as I have been to Dublin at least one hundred times without any other problem. The Guiness seems to cure all digestive issues that you migh encounter. On this one occasion though I was so sick that I could not even make it to the pub.
A black day indeed.
Time I think to get it going again.
I stay most of the time in the same house in the same town year in year out and apart from the odd case of mild food poisoning that I am convinced is caused by the hygene illiterate staff that I employ and the refusal to comprehend that something that they can not see could not possibly make a person sick and further incomprehension that different people have diffferent resistances from others dependant upon how and where they spent their early lives.
Other than the odd exception I am consistently of solid consistency sometimes to the point (or perhaps the lack of one) of mild discomfort or pain sometime referred to as constipation but not as extreme as that. A would descibe it more like giving birth to a 1.5 baby.
However I have just made a trip to Malaysia where on of the most attractive things for me is the diverse choice of food available to you. I particularly like Malysian Chinese food and Indian food. I found after the second day that I was spending much more time on the dunny than I would do at home and the consistency was becoming looser. I knocked the Indian on the head for a day or so but to no avail.
It occured to me that travel itself may be an ingredient to the change in the workings of the digestive system as much as the food. There have bee other posts relating to changes in bowel movements after trips to other areas. Could it be true that apart from the change in diet that the actual process of travelling could have a negative effect.
What experiences have others had. BTW the only case of extreme constipation that I have ever had was on a week's vaction in Edinburgh. At the opposite end of the spectrum the worst case I have had was in Dublin. I suspect there though it was food poisoning as I have been to Dublin at least one hundred times without any other problem. The Guiness seems to cure all digestive issues that you migh encounter. On this one occasion though I was so sick that I could not even make it to the pub.
A black day indeed.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
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Guess
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Rename
Jaime
Pease can you get the mods to rename this topic as it does not cover a large enough range for me. It should be:
Asteroid, hard, firm, soft, sloppy, liquid or Diesel Jet Wash.
I have to think of Thailand when an asteroid hits me. Could it be the Kellogs Frosties. I need to do something to loosen up before I start my South Wales campaign.
Pease can you get the mods to rename this topic as it does not cover a large enough range for me. It should be:
Asteroid, hard, firm, soft, sloppy, liquid or Diesel Jet Wash.
I have to think of Thailand when an asteroid hits me. Could it be the Kellogs Frosties. I need to do something to loosen up before I start my South Wales campaign.
Last edited by Guess on Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
not sure i would agree that thais are not able produce a good old fashioned english log...i live in the upper reaches of the north eastern region along with my wife and 2 children...i am the only farang to use our squatter as there are no other farang in the vacinity...on regular occasions i find myself having to chop in half the monsters that my mrs leaves in the pan...not surprised by this as she only seems to go once a week...
anyone for tennis?...
