questions one should ask oneself

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Tue May 13, 2008 3:27 pm

I should have added
This is obviously a scottish thing i know richard is from yorkshire but thats pretty close to scotland and he seems to be very knowledgeable

Post by **richard** » Tue May 13, 2008 4:05 pm

Thanks Sarge

Could you forward that my x headmaster, x careers teacher, x wife, daughters and my friends too

Oh and me too. I can print it and stick it on the wall and when I get into 'bang your head against a wall mode'

It will remind me to loosen up and slow down as I'm not as thick as I thought I was and I might damage my skull

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Tue May 13, 2008 4:26 pm

Please note richard i said knowledgeable i was sure you are not experienced in this subject

Post by **Jockey** » Tue May 13, 2008 9:56 pm

Thanks for the feedback guys

Sarge,
To answer your questions:
1. Occurance (I go about 3 times a day - she goes about once every 3 days) - Richard - your thory on this must be wrong in our case.
2. It was raining and I had not too much on my mind. After the fifth visit on the same day it got me wondering...
3. Well, everyone knows shitting can be a pleasure or pain in the butt (or both)
4. Yes - I'm winning hands down in the quantity stakes
5. She isn't, I am
6. Curiosity made us what we are
7. Not that I can think of?

I think the answer is some kind of Quantum physics Tardus thingy.

Post by **margaretcarnes** » Wed May 14, 2008 5:47 am

Jockey - It's the quality, not the quantity, that counts. One must also take into acount texture, density and colour. Floaters do not count. IMO the prohibitive cost of Guinness in LOS does not help in maintaining a good standard.

Post by **Wanderlust** » Wed May 14, 2008 8:40 am

Oh no! We are back to Guess' old thread again!

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Wed May 14, 2008 9:27 am

After a sleepless night i have got to put this one to bed

Jockey you must have
1. the near perfect relationship if i stood in the crapper with a tape measure and a set of scales waiting for mrs Sarge to finish i am sure i would be dead before she flushed

2. Your good lady must be a dumb mute the only crap coming from mrs sarge i measure is that what comes out of the orifice between her nose and her chin

Post by **Jockey** » Wed May 14, 2008 9:35 am

LOL

Sarge I've taken this topic to the more appropriate old crapper thread so you can carry on with your "Thailand Test" (keep em' coming!)

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Wed May 14, 2008 10:51 am

This is a small test paper containing questions and answers people living here in the LOS or considering coming here should pass

You are driving your motorcike along a soi when a street dog rushes at you and tries to bite your ankle do you
1. speed up and drive away
2. throw your leg out and try to kick it
3. come to a halt remembering your driving test in pranburi(neutral stand switch of and remove crash hat)and chase after the dog to do it some mischief
4. slam the brakes on sod the driving test reach into your basket and retrieve the 3 bricks you carry for occasions such as this and fetch the bluddy thing 3 lumps on the back of its head
The correct answer is 4 (the 3 bricks in the basket saves time pissing around looking for ammo and the dog will still be in range.)

The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832

One should ask can they remember
You are driving your motorcike along the same soi the next day
1. does the street dog recognize you (maybe)
2. does it recognize your motorcike (possibly)
3. does it recognize you reaching for your 3 bricks (definitely)
Answer 3 is however subject to how quick and how accurate your aim was yesterday

now come on dawn you didn’t get the first one correct did you

You are walking down Bintabaht and a voice calls from behind Hello welcome whats your name where you come from aaansoomme man
Do you
1. preen up and think she fancies you
2. reach for your wallet to see if you have enough cash or have to go to the ATM
3. reach for your wallet and reset the time delay lock on it for tommorrow
All 3 are correct it just depends how long you have been here

A politician comes to your soi and offers your good lady 300 baht for her vote
Do you
1. Get upset and say so angrily to him and your good lady
2. report him and her to the police
3. report them both to the election commission
4. let your good lady decide and then split the 300 so you have some extra beer money
The answer is 4 the first 3 will bring you severe grief from both of them and maybe compulsory relocation they also show all your neighbours you have no street smarts cos you have just binned 4 big bottles of chang

How did you get on with that one buksi

Post by **DawnHRD** » Wed May 14, 2008 4:58 pm

No, I'll admit I didn't get that one right, Sarge. My answer would be 'none of the above - they don't bite me. Apart from that bruiser I helped Mags with once, who really didn't like me

'

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Wed May 14, 2008 5:22 pm

Glad you saw the funny side dawn it happened to me yesterday.

Thats what i mean when i say you must see the funny side in everything over here.

Post by **margaretcarnes** » Sat May 17, 2008 9:08 am

Aaaaah, Dawn, the poor bruiser only got upset with people who stuck needles in his bum! (and the rent man, and the water delivery lad, and the bin men, and a farang or two....)

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Sat May 17, 2008 1:34 pm

You are lying on your settee watching telly when there is a power cut do you :-
1. Immediately get up switch off and unplug all appliances to save damage when the surge comes on the electricitys return
2. Phone the electric company to complain
3. Phone the tessabahn and tell the Mayor
4. Very slowly and very deliberately ( don’t want to sweat)open another beer
The correct answer is 4
1 should be carried out by er indoors ( no point in you breaking into a sweat)leaving a light and the aircon next to you switched on so you can see that the electricity is back on and you don’t lie sweating cos you didn’t notice
2 is a waste of time he took his phone off the hook as soon as his office went dark
3 The Mayor wont do anything he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life in darkness by making the electric company boss loose face

Post by **DawnHRD** » Sat May 17, 2008 7:18 pm

margaretcarnes wrote:Aaaaah, Dawn, the poor bruiser only got upset with people who stuck needles in his bum! (and the rent man, and the water delivery lad, and the bin men, and a farang or two....)

If I remember right, Mags, I was also responsible (in his mind) for removing a couple of bits of his anatomy he thought rather important. No wonder he hated me.

Sarge, like the above one (electricity!) Is the next one about when your water supply dries up?

Post by **chelsea** » Thu May 22, 2008 12:28 am

Dawn Wrote
Sarge, like the above one (electricity!) Is the next one about when your water supply dries up?

Dawn you are tempting fate by stating that, by getting HHS on his soapbox in another thread on his water supply. Lets hope not

Hua Hin Forum

questions one should ask oneself

Questions one should ask oneself

Questions one should ask oneself

Re: Questions one should ask oneself