Hi Lee,
I am on your side here and I think your heading towards the right thing - from the bar owners view - you are the one responsible for her leaving, hence you are due a fee for that. Try and speak to the owner of the bar give your point that she wanted to leave, she must back you up and make things good for everyone with a payment. It sounds like she is a good girl and you obviously like her.
All girls want to be taken care of, that's the same world over (be it love/money.. whatever).
You have been coming here for a long time so your no dummy, trust your instincts and if it costs you 100 quid then so be it, its only 1 night out back home!!
Lee1975 wrote:If she had worked bar for many years then I probably wouldn't touch this girl with a barge pole.
'many years?' I was thinking 3 weeks.
One of her difficulties is these Thai girls learn that they can't put their eggs in the one basket. Most foreign men never return or they don't commit to something more serious. Sending her money will not guarantee her fidelity. It's unrealistic to think otherwise.
If she's genuine, you are a lucky man. Please keep us posted as to how things work out. Situations like this might prove instructive for others.
kendo wrote:Why don't you send a friend around to the bar to try and bar fine her, friend leaves bar with said girl go's to his room and you are already there inside busted.
I would really exercise caution here if you do speak to her boss just tell him or her "that your not Santa F*cking Claus" she will understand this as its quite a common phrase in Thailand.
Kendo.
Kendo, you are adamant that she is back working bar?
I have a friend already staying opposite to her bar, she told me she said hello to him yesterday as she knows him through me, she also knows who many of my friends are in HH. I dont think she is stupid enough to work bar/let alone the same bar when she knows I have friends that go there regularly throughout the year.
Caution is very much high on my agenda mate.
It seems that this topic of conversation has gone from what I should do regarding the "her leaving" bar fine to she's back "working bar" again. Oh well, I suppose many people have been burnt by this and I understand that a lot of these girls are very sneaky in what they do and don't do when the so called "Boyfriend" is thousands of miles away.
Pet, I arrive late tomorrow, i am heading to Airport soon. I keep you updated
Lung per, yes I am willing to give this a go, even if I do lose a little money over this girl, but only money that I give to her, I am willing to take the risk. If she had worked bar for many years then I probably wouldn't touch this girl with a barge pole. I think she got out in quick time not to be turned into a hard faced bar girl. She seems genuine but as you say, caution is needed with certain Thai girls.
Dude just a couple of suggestions, i am not saying she has done anything wrong.
She probably just wanted to eat somtam with the girls for a few days.
As for the boss, i would totally dismiss his need for compensation as she left the bar and started a relationship two months ago, and he should be happy for you both to have a good life as now she has a young hansammmm farang.
Just be carefull Lee don't be another stat that looses his dosh.
Kendo.
Is Bangkok a place or a nasty injury.......Eric Morcombe.
kendo wrote:As for the boss, i would totally dismiss his need for compensation as she left the bar and started a relationship two months ago, and he should be happy for you both to have a good life as now she has a young hansammmm farang.
Back in the late 80s, when I was a young whippersnapper indulging in such pleasures, bar owners used to measure the success of their bar by how many girls they found long term partners for. There was never any thought of financial compensation for their success.
Siting with bated breath fo rthe outcome, like everyone reading this I suppose. Good luck. Its all been said already, but trust your instincts and go with your heart, but keep an eye on your wallet in the early months
Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.......says who?
Can't honestly say I'm waiting with bated breath, but I do sincerely wish the OP well. Seems to me he's not some wide-eyed innocent charging to the edge of a cliff, but that he knows pretty well what he's doing and is asking for advice on one specific aspect of the process.
I can't help him with that, but I will say that I hope it works out well - and if it doesn't, I hope it doesn't hurt too much!
JW wrote:Hi Lee,
I am on your side here and I think your heading towards the right thing - from the bar owners view - you are the one responsible for her leaving, hence you are due a fee for that. Try and speak to the owner of the bar give your point that she wanted to leave, she must back you up and make things good for everyone with a payment. It sounds like she is a good girl and you obviously like her.
All girls want to be taken care of, that's the same world over (be it love/money.. whatever).
You have been coming here for a long time so your no dummy, trust your instincts and if it costs you 100 quid then so be it, its only 1 night out back home!!
If you want a beer while your here let me know!
JW
Cheers JW, I'll come in and have a chat & a beer with you when I get there, I might even bring her along (actually no scrap that idea hahaha) and Thanks to everyone else
The only things I regret are the things I didn't do
Yes 100 quid is simply just that, but what worse a way to start a relationship . The girl had already left. Because of that fact, and also without it, the bar holds no rights over the girl. Sometimes you'll have to pay off to pay a lady in the bars to stay with you for the long run (if they are currently employed in said bar) but they are the dirtier/moneygrabbing' bars only - plenty which aren't. The fact she'd already said 'cheerio' two months ago means no money should be passed AT all. Absolutely no reason for it and if you are looking for the long term - (to say again) what a horrible way to start this relationship.
Hope it works out well but you owe nothing at all to any establishment - she doesn't work there!
Girls down that area can up and go when they want, with who they want and when they want (Whoops, said that already). We aint living in the stone age!
They are ALL technically illegal workers (I'm talking about the one's that put out)There's been a string of arrests recently in other areas (BIB's tea money is obviously a little more sufficient here). The Bar owners have no leg to stand with complaints as to what their girls do! They will hassle but not follow up as they know they can't.
The minute 'farang' owners of bars start treating staff like a piece of meat and a personal property of their own.... is when I'll start to lose a little faith.
A months notice from 'girl' (like anywhere) is more than adequate.
At the end of the day we are in Thailand - offer the bar owner 2000/3000 baht if he gets nasty. Life is too short here to argue over such an amount. Yes it is wrong but why risk the agro if you feel this girl is worth it! Only you can make this decision but why cause both of you trouble for the sake of it. I wish you all the best.
I was thinking 3 weeks.
