Do you measure up to James Bond?

Post by **lomuamart** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 4:32 am

This is apparently a real recruitment advertisement:
https://www.mi5careers.gov.uk/jobs/oper ... ficer.aspx
The money looks good especially if I get a gun, a fast car and loads of beautiful women. But I don't fit the criteria of residency. I am, however, over 18 years of age - at least physically.
Should I apply? I'm thinking of hitting that button at the end. I'll be discrete.

Post by **Big Boy** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 4:38 am

Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.

I know we're all one big family on HHAD, but I think you've probably just failed.

Will they have to shoot us all

Post by **Big Boy** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:25 pm

Lomu,

Your post above has been playing on my mind.

What were you doing browsing the MI5 web site at 4:30 in the morning? Are you agent THAI123, and were you just reporting in to your handler?

I doubt you were looking for how to cook Okra

I've just read on another thread that you're suffering from a hang over today - was surfing the MI5 site part of that process, or were you trying to dull the pain in your head afterwards?

Post by **lomuamart** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:32 pm

Na, I'd recently re-seen that Rowan Atkinson film where he's Johnny English and just thought that maybe I could do similar for Queen and country.
Seriously though, it was an article in The Guardian last night/this morning.
Nothing to do with okra - that ain't English - and I didn't have a hangover at the time

Post by **lomuamart** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:38 pm

BB, Found the article:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/mor ... ers-advert

Post by **Big Boy** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:40 pm

I didn't have a hangover at the time

I have to assume that you were still developing it at the time then

Post by **sandman67** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:24 pm

an OIO is a liaison officer who interacts between 5 and the police, customs, tax office etc. They also handle informants. Nobody likes them....

The fast car is a Vauxhall Vectra, the only gun you get is a staple gun, and the lady is some bored receptionist in a police station.

What you do get lots of is frustration, stress, and being lied to. You, in turn, have to lie contnually about what job you do to friends, family and spouses.

And the wages? Well...considering you are a part of the security service that protects the public you get paid less than a tube train driver.

You will be tasked to do stupid work by 21 year old fresh graduates still wet behind the ears and with a point to prove so they climb up the slippery pole.

You, as a member of 5 and therefore an integrity risk, will constantly be subject to occasional checks, monitoring etc.

And if....and it happens a lot....you fall behind or start to question things, fall ill through stress, or have issues of conscience you will be treated like a paraiah, thrown out and told never to come back.

Still want that job?