With apologies to Harley's Bar (and customers)

[mr lonely]

Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.

What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it for a Kawasaki.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.

How do you now you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.

Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.

How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.

Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece of $#!+ would YOU be smiling?

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.

How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

You know you're a Harley rider if...

....you're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.

....you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term
"engineering flaws."

...."water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a your buddy to come in his pickup truck.