sent to me by a disgruntled English fan
Whats the difference between Cinderella and the England football team?
Cinderella wanted to get to the ball....
Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still
alive. He said that the England Team performance on Saturday was completely
s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the
message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.
Robert Green - The only man to leave Africa with out catching anything .
In a statement from broadcasting house, all future England games will now
be shown on the gay porn channel. It is thought that 11 arsεholes being
regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV.
"I can't believe we only managed a draw against a s**t team we should easily
have beaten......I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian. "
The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning,
"its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly
struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.
Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the
dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.
What's the difference between Rob Green's spill and BP's spill?
- Robert Green has got a cap for his.
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car
park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He
stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied,
"No way. You got yourself into this f*****g mess, don't ask me to sort it
out..."
The FA have launched an inquiry to find out how a fan found his way into
the dressing room. And another enquiry into how Aaron Lennon found his way
into the dressing room.
English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
I've heard they re-routed their flight into Glasgow so they could get a standing ovation.
Happiness can't buy money
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
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Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
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lindosfan1
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- Location: uk
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
not a jibe but a comment found in facebook very true
Two planes have come home to England today, one carrying a group of over paid, under achievers who complained that they were tired and missed their families after two weeks away in 5 star accomadation, the other carried the coffins of 7 fallen soliders who spend months away from loved ones in tents in a war zone, giving their lives for their country, who are the heros? R.I.P
Woke up this morning breathing that's a good start to the day.
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pharvey
- Moderator
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- Location: Sir Fynwy - God's Country
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
Certainly puts it in perspective lindosfan - and which had the most press coverage I wonder.lindosfan1 wrote:not a jibe but a comment found in facebook very true
Two planes have come home to England today, one carrying a group of over paid, under achievers who complained that they were tired and missed their families after two weeks away in 5 star accomadation, the other carried the coffins of 7 fallen soliders who spend months away from loved ones in tents in a war zone, giving their lives for their country, who are the heros? R.I.P
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
BREAKING NEWS - A man has been found in a River this morning wearing an England shirt, womens knickers, fishnet stockings, suspenders, a blow up doll on the end of his todger and a dildo stuck up his rear.
Police have removed the England shirt to save the family any embarrassment.
Police have removed the England shirt to save the family any embarrassment.
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd 
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Re: English World cup team is out and the jibes are in
What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. I didn't know he could string a sentence together.
What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? The referee.
What's the difference between Shrek and Wayne Rooney? Shrek can save the day.
Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room. Robert Green was guarding the door.
What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. I didn't know he could string a sentence together.
What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? The referee.
What's the difference between Shrek and Wayne Rooney? Shrek can save the day.
Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room. Robert Green was guarding the door.
What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
New English FA sponsors well suited to English team
Total, fcuk and UPS in joint sponsorship deal with England football team
The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’
The announcement followed the news that Nationwide building society would be ending its sponsorship of the national side after the FA rejected its pre-World Cup offer of a new £20m deal. ‘Not so f**king cocky now, are you?’ said Nationwide in a prepared statement yesterday, before respectfully suggesting that the FA ‘shoved its sponsorship deal right up its ar*e’. Pundits noted that if the FA followed Nationwide’s advice, it would be the second time in a fortnight that England had been laid wide open at the back.
The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.
However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’
The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’
The announcement followed the news that Nationwide building society would be ending its sponsorship of the national side after the FA rejected its pre-World Cup offer of a new £20m deal. ‘Not so f**king cocky now, are you?’ said Nationwide in a prepared statement yesterday, before respectfully suggesting that the FA ‘shoved its sponsorship deal right up its ar*e’. Pundits noted that if the FA followed Nationwide’s advice, it would be the second time in a fortnight that England had been laid wide open at the back.
The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.
However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’
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