Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the

[dr dave soul monsta]

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

[Dangerous]

WOW!!!!!!

[Guess]

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.

Correct. If stupidity was football. England would win the world cup.

There is no egg in the eggplant

But is does look like an egg to an Englishman.

No ham in the hamburger

That's because it comes from Hamburg in Germany.

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

It looks like a pine cone and has flesh that resembles apple to an English person

English muffins were not invented in England

Where were they invented then???

French fries were not invented in France.

Ditto. Scotland maybe??? They invented everything else that is of any use.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

Corruption of the word rink because the English can not spell. Rink itself (which could be square or rectanglular) is a derivation of the word ring, which we all know means round. That is double corruption.

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Well well well!!! The English do not know the differnce between Peru and Guinea and they do not know the difference between a pig and a rat. The rat tastes a lot better and you can eat one all on your own.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

Some would say that paradoxes like that are what make the English language so rich.

BTW I do not want to offend anybody from the land of England.

I am sure that all of you have a major part to play in Earth's fragile infrastructure.

[dr dave soul monsta]

gues you ran out of steam half way through
whats going on ?( song by marvin gaye Jnr)