Birthday Advice Needed

[sand_dancer]

Good Morning People.....

My G/F has a friend, who I was informed last night will be 4 next week.....

The friend and daughter eat with us..... Once or twice a week..... From what I can make out the mother works hard..... Brings up the daughter single handedly..... does not drink or smoke and has the oldest mobile phone that I have set eyes on in Thailand..... Every spare Satang she has is spent on the daughter....

When they come and eat with us..... The little girl is glued to the TV and chatters away excitedly..... with a big beaming smile....

So..... When G/F tells me last night about her birthday.... We go buy her TV for birthday....

No.... No..... Teerak..... Cannot says she.....

Why not says I........

XXXX be too embarrassed and not speak to us again teerak....... Says she......

Further indepth questioning..... provided no further clues.....

All you guys and girls..... Who are far more edumacated on all things Thai...... Can you enlighten me further..... And should I go and get the TV anyway ...... ?

[dtaai-maai]

My twopennyworth...

Be guided by your lady.
Give the girl (or rather her mother) cash in an envelope. 200-500 baht, again let your g/f decide.

[sand_dancer]

D - M

I will cede to your superior knowledge....

Thanks....

[hhfarang]

Or buy the kid a nice toy. Some (poor) Thais are proud and lose face if given expensive things or cash... perceived as charity, but again, listen to your missus. She knows what is proper in the circumstance.

That being said, none I know would turn down a new TV or cash!

[sand_dancer]

Or buy the kid a nice toy. Some (poor) Thais are proud and lose face if given expensive things or cash... perceived as charity, but again, listen to your missus. She knows what is proper in the circumstance.

That being said, none I know would turn down a new TV or cash!

HHF

The " Charity " thing was what I think my G/F was alluding too..... In her Thai way.....

I guess I never really got my head around what she was trying to tell me.....

All I could see.... Was the sheer delight the kid got from watching a TV.....

Another discussion tonight methinks......

[Arlo]

Could it be time to upgrade your TV in the near future and then kindly give away your old TV to the lady and child? I don't know if that would save face for them or not but its something you could run by your girlfriend and both party's could win this way.

[migrant]

My wife, still, always keeps track of presents given her. When I asked why she said "so I can give an equal value present back". I tried to explain that is not the spirit, but she always says "that's the way we do it in Thailand"

Perhaps your GF feels her friend could not reciprocate so would cut ties instead

[sand_dancer]

Arlo

Great suggestion.... Unfortunately not an option as new TV purchased about 6 weeks ago.... Thank you....

Migrant

Perhaps your GF feels her friend could not reciprocate so would cut ties instead

Spot on.... Good call....

After further negotiations.... D-M's suggestion wins it.....

Thanks guys

[SunandFun]

You have not factored in the cost of a TV. Add cable, distraction from school studies, additional electricity, and the bombardment of commercials targeting children to buy things they don't need and feeling outcasted if they don't have them, etc. Let them enjoy coming to your house once a week. They will be most thankful and you will have contributed more than you think. You sound like a loving generous man who wants to help this hard working Thai Mother. But listen to your girlfriend. You can find other ways to make a difference.

[JW]

I would do DMs thing and also buy a pretty dress or something.. wee girls always love that sort of thing and they are not expensive.

[sand_dancer]

SunandFun

The additional costs that you highlighted did not even enter my head..... Thanks for pointing them out to me......

JW

D-M's suggestion wins it...... And I think we can also add in a few pretty girly clothes....

Thanks All.....

[JW]

Mum will be able to give her little one a treat and little one will have a huge smile, be cool if you could get a picture