How do you scare a monkey to death?

[perdk]

Hi all,

I recently moved just next to Monkey Mountain and I must say that I really love this place, so I am for sure not moving anywhere :-)

My only "challenge" right now is a specific monkey (a very big male) that drops by my place a couple of times daily. Living so close to the mountain, I have many daily monkey-visits which I really do not mind, but this one monkey is a bit too much of a "smart ass". No doubt that it is because he is BIG and he knows it. And no doubt because other people feed him, which has resulted in him not being scared of people. (like most other monkeys here)

Anyway, he does move (when he decides too) if I clap my hands or hit a broom against the wall and make some noise. But as said it is not before he decides to move, that he actually does move. The other monkeys I have no problem scaring off, but with this guy it getting more and more difficult and I am worried he could invite too many of his friends at some point or maybe become aggressive. Because he is a really big monkey and a bite from him would not be nice at all.

So I was thinking... How do you really scare the living hell out of a huge male monkey? I read about throwing a rubber snake at him, but honestly I think this will not work with this guy (he is smart and I would properly only lose face in his eyes :-)

I also considered fireworks or shooting him with a sling shot. The sling shot thing I find a bit too much, since he is not aggressive towards us and it might piss him off. (I mean I would be really pissed off, if someone shot me with a sling shot). I have no idea where to buy the fireworks (which I think could work).

The locals here says just to clap/shout him off. And thats what I do now. But if I could somehow scare him to death, so he decided to go another house and hang out, then that would be great.

So any suggestions/ideas? - or anybody here wants a really big monkey?

[Lung Per]

Hi all,

But if I could somehow scare him to death, so he decided to go another house and hang out, then that would be great.

So any suggestions/ideas? - or anybody here wants a really big monkey?

Move your problem to somebody else's house? I think you have earned your monkey.

What you want to do is to lure the ape 1 foot near you, give him a very large bunch of bananas and while he concentrates on eating it, quickly insert a big firecracker into his rectum and ignite it. That will make him disappear.

[GLCQuantum]

Get one of those little yappy dogs. It will drive any living thing (apart from the owners ) to suicide with enough contact time. The monkey won't come back again.

Failing that, lead it up the mountain and off the edge of a cliff with a trail of bananas each time it comes (little nudge required at the end). If it's smart it will make the connection between 'your place' and 'edge of cliff' soon enough.

[oakdale160]

Have you taken the trouble to sit down with him and explain your feelings, he may not be aware that you find his visits a strain. Communication is so important ---Another approach would be to have him run for elective office, and he would be busy with committee meetings etc, but he may be over qualified for that.

[Hilux]

Hi Per and welcome to the forum.
Don't take it personal when some of the replys contains humor... most people here means well.
I have some family in south america who used something like this (and it helped):

http://www.greentouchirrigation.com/scarecrow.html

But I have no idea where to get it locally... so maybe not much help after all...

Hilux

[NOKYAI]

Excellent invention! Will it work on Jehovah's witnesses?

You could just throw a forum party, I'm sure some of the members here would scare it to death! Richard looks more like an orangutan every time I see him...lol no offence mate

[usual suspect]

I have damn monkeys where I live..the locals fire small rockets at them..BANG!!..keeps 'em at bay daily.

[Siani]

Have you taken the trouble to sit down with him and explain your feelings, he may not be aware that you find his visits a strain. Communication is so important ---Another approach would be to have him run for elective office, and he would be busy with committee meetings etc, but he may be over qualified for that.

[PeteC]

The Scarecrow Sprinkler is available from Amazon.com in the US, and is eligible for international shipping. They'll charge a Customs duty deposit which they'll refund (or a portion thereof) if applicable. If you want to very quickly, your express 2-3 day shipping will be expensive.....but maybe worth it. The problem with all of the below though is that some (maybe all) monkeys like water, especially on a hot day.



(Mounting bracket if you want to put it on a wall)



....and, a different model a bit more expensive:

[Gérard]

At Lopburi, the city of the monkeys, they have stuffed crocodiles with open jaws. A few years ago, they used to put it on the top of their cars when parking in the streets...
Last time I went there, I still could see some of these crocodiles, but not so many as before...

[Takiap]

If I was you I would try using a decent looking rubber snake. Not sure if it works with monkeys, but it does with baboons, sometimes.

[Big Boy]

At Lopburi, the city of the monkeys, they have stuffed crocodiles with open jaws. A few years ago, they used to put it on the top of their cars when parking in the streets...
Last time I went there, I still could see some of these crocodiles, but not so many as before...

On a recent visit to Khao Luang Cave we were charged 10 Baht for what I assumed was parking, but it was actually to hire a stuffed crocodile with open jaws, which was placed on the roof of my car. Being a large truck, it kept the monkeys away from the front two thirds. In hindsight, I should have invested an extra 10 Baht for the back of the truck - the car park was alive with monkeys, but they were definitely avoiding the stuffed crocodiles.

[PeteC]

At Lopburi, the city of the monkeys, they have stuffed crocodiles with open jaws. A few years ago, they used to put it on the top of their cars when parking in the streets...
Last time I went there, I still could see some of these crocodiles, but not so many as before...

On a recent visit to Khao Luang Cave we were charged 10 Baht for what I assumed was parking, but it was actually to hire a stuffed crocodile with open jaws, which was placed on the roof of my car. Being a large truck, it kept the monkeys away from the front two thirds. In hindsight, I should have invested an extra 10 Baht for the back of the truck - the car park was alive with monkeys, but they were definitely avoiding the stuffed crocodiles.

Makes a lot of sense. Naturally a croc will sit with jaws open (sometimes) and not move for hours. The monkeys haven't yet figured out the difference between a live one and a stuffed one because of that.

[Big Boy]

I must admit, until I read Gérard's post, I had just thought it was a strange way of indicating that I had paid my 10 Baht parking fee, but now, looking back......................

[PeteC]

Has anyone seen these stuffed crocs for sale anywhere? How big are they? I'm thinking they may work with my pool pigeon problem. The owl decoys don't fool them any longer. Pete