What the thai lady don't understand British life stlyes??

Post by **caller** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 4:00 pm

i don't understand and don't know what i can do and don't in the UK when i go to there? what i can do and don't with the neighbour and they child?
please let me know , thank you

Post by **tbuzzi** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 4:37 pm

Sorry I am not sure what you want to know perhaos you could be more specific?

Post by **caller** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:13 pm

Er, apologies! My lovely wife decided to post a message using my ID. She now has her own user ID and password!! Sorry about that. I think she was rushed, her written English is normally much better.

She attended a course a while back in Khorat about life in the UK, which on the whole was good, but also talked about ladies still having afternoon tea etc. This only came to light recently when she went on a course to make cakes and biscuits!!! I then found out why.

We're in the process of applying for a visa for the UK. I think she'd get more advice on another forum specifically aimed at those in the UK who are Thai or are in Thai-UK relationship.

Came as a shock to me to read this!!!

Bright lady and very resourceful.

Post by **lomuamart** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:16 pm

Afternoon tea and scones sounds a bit refined.
Then again, I don't know where you live

Only joking.
You do suggest "civilised Surry", so maybe quite possible.

Post by **tbuzzi** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:28 pm

How lovely I would tell her to do what ever she pleases, I am sure the neighbours would love some sticky rice and mango and to hear all about life in Thailand. She sounds lovely

Post by **DawnHRD** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:36 pm

Isn't it funny that when you come here, there are countless books about how to adjust to life in the LOS, as a farang? (I'm not commenting how good they are

)

Wouldn't it be really useful for Thais (esp women) to have some sort of similar books, to help them adjust to life in UK/USA/Europe et al? I think it's very resourceful of your wife to do this, Caller. Talk about trying to get it right - that's far more than a lot of Westerners do when they come to live here!

I can't help her with life as a Thai woman in UK, but if she'd like to know anything about generally living in UK from a woman's perspective, please ask her to pm me.

Post by **PeteC** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 8:15 pm

DawnHHDRC wrote:Wouldn't it be really useful for Thais (esp women) to have some sort of similar books, to help them adjust to life in UK/USA/Europe et al?

It sure would be, but I don't think there are any, in passa Thai anyway.

This is a real important issue though Caller. I know from experience (twice) that the anxiety level for Thai women relocating overseas is HUGE. Not only leaving Thailand and home/family behind, but all the other things she is going to get overwhelmed with upon arrival there. Some of which may make her cry and go into a shell, at least in the short term if she is sensitive.

The only support base she'll have in the early days is you and that is critical. I've known a few yanks who in retrospect understood that their marriage ended the first month after their Thai wives landed on foreign shores. Not a scam either, just a total "lost" feeling and not getting the needed support from husband or family. End of speech, sorry. Pete

Post by **caller** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:00 am

Pete / Dawn

Comments appreciated.

I know it will be tough, I know it will be hard. Other members on this forum have offered help (Jaime gets an honourable mention).

Dawn, I know my wife has since pm'd you and I just found her earlier post on the thai language section, which makes more sense.

Any help / reality check you can offer will be great.

I have provided as much info as I can, but I guess nothing will prepare until she finally arrives with my step-son. I know already that my friends will be great and I live in an area with a large asian community (Korean / Japanese). Which I think will help.

Regards,

The real caller (maybe?)

Post by **caller** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:09 am

tbuzzi wrote:How lovely I would tell her to do what ever she pleases, I am sure the neighbours would love some sticky rice and mango and to hear all about life in Thailand. She sounds lovely

tbuzzi, thank you for these comments, she is and thats exactly what I want her to do! But being a Thai, I think at some stage she will want to earn, although she doesn't need to.

I think she is a very bright, tough cookie, in the nicest sense - I almost sound American! - she's studying accountancy at the moment, which I hope she continues in the UK - its a British Council approved qualification. The more she can be prepared the better!

I'm also worried about the dark nights in winter, the drabness of it. If she'd been here for the last few weeks, she would have thought the weather was the same as in LOS, but without the A/C!

Caller

Post by **STEVE G** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:53 am

I know nothing of the UK, as I have not lived there for a long time. I spend my time when Iâ€™m not in Thailand working around various countries in continental Europe.
What always surprises me is that everywhere I go, I meet Thais. Generally, it starts through going to Thai restaurants and talking to the owners or staff about their homeland. I find they are eager to talk, as they donâ€™t get back to Thailand as often as I do, and I have made several good Thai friends now in Europe.
Once you get to know there are often far more Thais around than you would think, and they are friendly and welcoming even to me, and Iâ€™m just a misplaced farang! Earlier this year I had the good fortune to be invited to a large Thai dinner party in Luxembourg, and it was the best time Iâ€™ve had this year outside of the LOS.

Post by **NikkiSixx** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:19 pm

My missus hates the winter weather but she knows its not forever and in any case has plenty of friends both falang and Thai. Without wishing to sound like a slave driver, my wife went to work within a week of arriving in the UK (her choice!) and made plenty of good friends that way.
The Thais are very fortunate in the way they are very good at making friends without judgement or elements of English snobbery!
I'm sure your missus will be fine!....more worryingly, mine is starting to like it a bit too much!!

Post by **caller** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:21 am

Nikkisixx

Thats an interesting post - thanks - and for the good wishes.

Without prying too much, what sort of work did your wife manage to get so quickly?

Thanks

Caller

Post by **NikkiSixx** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:47 am

Well Caller, she got her first job in...you've guessed it! the local Thai restaurant! But obviously coming from Torquay, hotel work is very easy to come by, so she ended up taking a second job too.
If your girls English is good then I know alot of Thai ladies who work in supermarkets and all kinds of cleaning jobs. Not excactly the dream life abroad but I have found its also give my wife an excellent work ethic and understanding the we falangs sometimes have to endure hardships for peanuts wages!
I hope this helps

Post by **Jaime** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:25 am

My advice is to steer clear of the Thai Restaurant coven but you know that already Caller. Thai restaurant people - some good, some bad, as they say. Too many Thai restaurants want to treat their staff like illegal immigrants, being grateful for working all hours for cash in hand and way below minimum wage. As one Thai restauranteur said to a relative of mine "Why pay tax & NI anyway? That is for the farangs - you are Thai!" Asking whether her NI contributions were being paid got her the sack in the end.

The best way to integrate and truly be a part of the society here is to get a job doing something else. Easier said than done maybe but who said life was easy? Having a mix of Thai and farang friends is important for your wife in order to understand the mindset here - just as it is for farangs in Thailand. It is difficult to do that if the only farang your wife ever speaks to, other than to take an order, is you. If your wife does end up working in the local Thai restaurant, I hope there are no casinos nearby or those late nights could become even later!

Post by **caller** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:10 am

Thanks guys, I know that she has no intention of working in a Thai restaurant! I'm just worried that her expectations are too high?

Jaime, your comments are well and truly noted and I agree with you.

On saying that, we will hopefully meet up with some other Thai/farang couples - thats assuming we get the visa - but from what I can gather so far about this group, both sides of the couples come from a variety of backgrounds as you would expect, so I guess there should be lots of guidance there?

Friends will rally around as well. A good friend has already offered an invite round when my wife arrives and locally, next door, either side now, there are mums of all ages, some working, some not. The local school where hopefully my step son will attend is all of 100 yards away!

Dawn gave some great advice directly to my wife in a pm, which I know she really valued - many thanks for that Dawn! Also re-assured her, she suddenly got a panic on, must have been something I said!

Thanks again everyone.