Thain ex pat arrestd at Heathrow.

Post by **Guess** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:17 am

BBC 06:30 8th September 2006

From our Travel Correspondent.

A UK passport holding Thai expat who had been living in Hua Hin for ten years was arrested at Heathrow in the early hours of the morning whilst disembarking from a flight from Dun Muang airport in Bangkok. He had upset all the other passengers by impersonating Freddy Mercury whilst playing Queen songs on his laptop via a high powered amplifier and performing up and down the aisles for the entire journey only stopping to reach for another bottle from his 24 bottle case of Beer Chang that he had stored in his overhead locker. Heathrow police are looking into the possibility that he may be a member of the nutters for terrorist exchange deal agreement between Thailand and Britain. If this is proven he will be be returned to Thailand on board a cargo only flight as soon as possible where he will be dealt with by the Thai authorities for attempting to leave the country illegally whilst under contract with the Thai immigration and MI6. This man is said now to be on the loose in after being granted bail by Uxbridge Magistrates Court London and if spotted it is advised for you to cross over to the other side of the road. He is easy to reckognise by the crate of beer that he carries and the imaginary 50,000 audience walking in front of him.

When questioned by the British authorities at Heathrow as to his activities in Thailand he claimed he was involved in the Internet business. This was disbelieved when he asked for assistance to use a telephone to call his hairdresser.

Post by **lomuamart** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:21 pm

It was me. got back on the 8th. Got released after I'd sobered up. The missus wasn't too impressed.
Only joking

Post by **Guess** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:24 am

How's the weather? No doubt you will be visiting the FA for an update of the rest of the seasons scores.

Hope the trip goes OK for you.

What does the the missus think of a whole country full of nutters.

I hear they water the bChang down in Limeyland. Is that true?

Post by **Bamboo Grove** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:19 am

I hear they water the bChang down in Limeyland. Is that true?

The way Everton have started their season I think they've added some vodka to Chang in Ol' Bligthy.

Post by **lomuamart** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:30 pm

First few days have been great. Weather 80 ish and sunny. Missus enjoying it.
Other plus points. Took all of 3-5 mins to clear her through immigration. Reckon we were lucky as there were hardly any people queuing. Got pulled at customs. but only a cursory check.
Priced frightening - 8 quid for two on tube from Heathrow to Kings Cross and then 22.40 each for a 50 min ride on GNER to Peterborough.
Havn't had a beer out yet, so don't know how that'll stack up, but 20 cigs nearly 6 quid now. Again havn't bought any as we had 200 each when we left HH.

Post by **Jaime** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:06 am

Lomu - I told you the weather would be OK didn't I? We even went to the beach yesterday!

Hope the weather stays fine for you and Mrs Lomu enjoys the rest of the trip!

Post by **Big Boy** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:40 am

lomuamart wrote:

Priced frightening - 8 quid for two on tube from Heathrow to Kings Cross and then 22.40 each for a 50 min ride on GNER to Peterborough.
Havn't had a beer out yet, so don't know how that'll stack up, but 20 cigs nearly 6 quid now. Again havn't bought any as we had 200 each when we left HH.

Be assured, its not going to get any better than that. But why spend money when you can lay back and enjoy the beautiful English sunshine?

Post by **caller** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 2:03 am

Well, it seems like everything was a hunky dory for Lomu until he travelled to................Peterborough!

C'mon Lomu, whats the score here?

Is there something about your background / family you're keeping hidden???

I've only been to one place worst - well, two actually, one was Coalville, which came as a shock that somewhere actually existed with that name and the other was Merthyr Tydfil, which exists only to escape from and make the rest of us feel good. Slough comes close.

Post by **Big Boy** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 2:51 am

caller wrote:

I've only been to one place worst - well, two actually, one was Coalville, which came as a shock that somewhere actually existed with that name and the other was Merthyr Tydfil

So............you've never been to Dumbarton then?

Post by **caller** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:54 am

BB - My limited knowldege of geography suggests that Dumb-arton is in that mysterious land in the north - you know, the other side of Cumbria and Northumbria, as civilisation stops there - as proved by many foriegn labour politicians in the last week or so, I can't really be expected to comment?!

Post by **Big Boy** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:01 am

caller wrote:

My limited knowldege of geography suggests that Dumb-arton is in that mysterious land in the north - you know, the other side of Cumbria and Northumbria, as civilisation stops there

Limited knowledge or not, you're right. Beware, they have Demons, Dragons & Gordon Brown in that land.

Post by **Guess** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:06 am

The Peterborough trip is just aN adjustment exercise. If you have take youR wife to a real bad area that you know would be highly shocking wouldn't it be good to start somewhere like Perterborough and gradually go downhill so as to lighten the shock. My sugestion would be start at Peterborough then move South to Stevenage and from there to Watford, gradually going down market, and from there to a London suburb such as Kingston and then Croydon and then gradually move north along the A23 getting rougher and rougher until to reach the ultimate of all horrors, Oh My Buddha I am afraid even to say it, it is so terrible it makes Tehran look desirable.

KENNINGTON

Hundreds of people every day leap out of twelth story windows to cross the fence into the safety of Brixton.

Post by **caller** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:20 am

Must be all those city folk who never managed a 1m bonus this year - Kennington being the new Hoxton, Hoxton being the new, er, Stoke Newington???

I'm now hearing about areas of London that are new to me, I hear Annerley and Penge exist somewhere, so rumour has it?

SW London is very stable and civilised by comparison!

Post by **Guess** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:34 pm

caller wrote:Must be all those city folk who never managed a 1m bonus this year - Kennington being the new Hoxton, Hoxton being the new, er, Stoke Newington???

I'm now hearing about areas of London that are new to me, I hear Annerley and Penge exist somewhere, so rumour has it?

SW London is very stable and civilised by comparison!

Basically the estate agents have run out of shit holes of London Suburbs to call "up and coming ares" and the "latest Islington" so they are now nicking villages in Kent and on the outskirts of London.

BTW caller perhaps you should write to your council asking for a tax rebate now that have have disbanded to stray dog unit in NM. Maybe they could spend the savings on some nice red and gold arches depicting dragons and greyhound barbeques on every entrance road.

Post by **STEVE G** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:58 pm

Caller wrote:
I've only been to one place worst - well, two actually, one was Coalville,â€¦

Hi Caller,
I have a cousin who lives in Coalville, and itâ€™s a scary place, he had a bit of misfortune and it was the only place he could afford to buy a house, but even he admits itâ€™s the back end of the universe.