My experience

[Hails]

Just thought I would add my experience of Thailand as a young single mother who lived in Hua Hin for 7 months. Decided to write this after reading the 'typical expat' thread. Some of you on here will know me.

I am now home in New Zealand and able to reflect on my experience. It was both extremely hard and extremely rewarding.

Likes? Not cooking for 7 months! Being able to walk the streets at night and feel safe (no, you can't do that in clean green NZ!). Other expats I met. An affordable lifestyle. Being able to live in another country with a child easily (in terms of visas and schooling) - I couldn't do it in Europe for example. Certain experiences I had - like the night I spent at the Paleo bar on the beach with friends from Oz, we drank and ate and were entertained all night. When we went to leave, and pay, we were told we owed nothing as it was the owners birthday. Or the time a friends landlord invited us over for dinner, took us for a scenic drive then home for dinner where they served us a tableload of food then told us to eat - while they left the room! And the high point was spending 4 1/2 months teaching K3 kids and watching them go from a group of 20 where most of them couldn't even speak English to kids who could read, write and speak English. Very rewarding. I miss my kids dearly.

Dislikes? The constant attempts at being ripped off. The stray animals and the treatment of animals in general. The constant heat and dirt got to me a bit. And being a bit of a target as a white blonde woman - I don't want to go into too much detail but I was attacked one night and also had an intruder in my home. I know this could happen anywhere but I guess when you're alone overseas the experience hits home harder.

I know this will offend some people - I am entitled to my opinion - but seeing fat old farang men with young Thai girls and watching them barely speak a word to each other soon wore thin. It's just not real.

Also the school I worked at - despite its enthusiastic teachers - just isn't what I wanted for my girl. She is now at a school in NZ and thriving - in the top group for everything and her behaviour is excellent. She just didn't fit in at her school in HH. I really liked many of the teachers I worked with and commend them for the job they do with such little resources. However a Thai curriculum translated into English just isn't good enough for me and mine. Oh yeah - another thing I disliked was the input the Thai parents are allowed - if they want their kids to learn like farang kids do then let us do it our way. I believe all of us farang teachers drew on our own schooling experiences and I personally came up against a few brick walls.

Finding a man proved to be a non existant experience, luckily that's not what I came for!

I treasure my time in Thailand as it was a huge personal journey. I don't imagine I would ever go back and work there again but you never know.

One thing I found about Thailand is that if you have plenty of money you can afford a wonderful lifestyle for yourself and your family. Without it, life is better at home.

Just my opinion.

[ting-tong]

Nice and intresting post Hails.

[Hublet]

Hey there Hails,

Living in Hua Hin and Thailand means you take the good with the bad. I spent just on two years there and loved every minute of it (including the nasty bits). You went home by choice, I came home because I had no choice.

Like you I enjoyed teaching and got a kick out of watching language skills grow. I wont fib and I will add that it is not easy for a Farang woman (married or not) to live in Thailand but that is of no matter what does matter is it was an experience I will never forget and perhaps down the track may do so again. I have many friends there and miss them a lot - thems the breaks.

[Guess]

The stray animals and the treatment of animals in general.


The constant heat.........

Good to hear from you, I wondered what had happend to you.

I have to agree with the first sentence 100% and it is completely opposed to the teachings of the Buddha and to the natural instincts of man.

Your second sentence confirms to me that this must be due long term acclimatisation rather than race.

I am freezing by balls off many nights and haven't felt hot (well temperaturewise at least) for quite a while now in Hua Hin. It got a bit too much last year in May and June but this year a serious lack of sunshine.

As for the old fat blokes with young girls, I just don't notice anymore but what I do know is that you could write a whole book of that side of life in Hua Hin and only just scratch the surface.

Best wishes. Are you coming back at any time.

[matthew80]

Hi Hails! I would love to hear more about your teaching experience. When I was in Hua hin two years ago (On a sabbatical from my teaching job in Canada) I volunteered at a school on the outskirts of town (somewhere across the tracks) and had a wonderful time teaching English to a grade five level class. It was a bare-bones type of deal - with little or no resources, but the kids were terrific and seemed "starved" for stimuli. I don't know how a full-time teaching experience would be like in Hua Hin, but perhaps in a few years I will give it a shot.

[Jaime]

Top post - really interesting perspective.

[DawnHRD]

Hi Hails,

Like Guess, I was also wondering where you'd gone to. Thought you must've given up on the idea of coming here - didn't realise you were actually here!!

First of all, whether the experience of living here was what you wanted or expected or not, congratulations for trying it. So few people will step outside the "safety" (comfort zone wise, not crime wise) of their own country and try something new, and few of those that do are single women.

From what you've said, your experiences sound very varied & I hope, overall that the nice ones outweighed the bad ones, but can I just counter a few of your dislikes with experiences of my own?

First of all, the treatment of strays: I feel I'm quite qualified to answer this one. I agree there are far too many. As I've said many times, neutering & general education are the answers to this one. However, many Thais do look after street animals to the best of their ability. Ignorance & lack of money are 2 huge problems. Thais generally aren't educated about animal welfare & don't have the money to pay vet bills or even feed animals properly. Cans of dog food can cost 50 baht for a small tin - that's 2 meals for a Thai. So, they feed leftovers. They can't afford vaccines, neutering or medical care & don't always realise how important these are. Yes, a lot of the strays look awful and I'm certainly not saying there's not a problem, but I can state this: In 3 years of running the rescue center, we have only seen about 3 or 4 cases of direct cruelty We have seen countless dogs in horrific (really) states, but very few of them are due to cruelty. I doubt any rescue centre in any Western country can say the same.

As for your bad experiences with violent men, I'm truly sorry that anything so horrifying happened to you. It's totally wrong and inexcusable. Generally, though, Thailand is safer than Western countries for single women. I'm not belittling what happened to you, I'm just a little concerned that women reading your story might think it's a common occurrence, which it's not. I've been here 5 years & you're only the second woman I've known who has been assaulted here. Again, I doubt I could say that in UK.

Lastly "The old farang guy & young Thai girl" scenario. I'm assuming you mean the really old tourists with really young girls, not the guys who live here, have a wife who is perhaps 10 years younger than them, have learnt Thai, have become part of the community...? If so, I think it was said very well on a previous thread. Don't think of it as a relationship; to the girl the guy is just an ATM. And who needs their ATM to talk to them? As was said on the other thread "she pushes the right buttons & the money comes out". Whether the sex industry is right or wrong is another matter, but it's here & it's not going away.

I hope you take this post in the way I mean it. I'm not arguing or criticising, I'm just giving my take on some of the things you've described, as I have a very similar background (farang single mum living on her own). Hope everything's going well for you & your daughter now & if you're ever back here, get in touch!

[Winkie]

As I've said many times, neutering & general education are the answers to this one.

However, many Thais do look after street animals to the best of their ability.

Hi Dawn

Thought I'd add some comments based on your reply, yes, it is a little off-thread but anyway.....

I think neutering is a very good point. By neuternig Thais that are cruel to animals we can hope the the remaining Thais will be those that naturally care for animals, or those that adapt their ways in order to survuve.

With regard to the second point, I understand fully that you are in a very good position to make such a statement about Thais looking after aninmals......

Howevever as a previous keeper of a dog, who watched a Thai guy chase and chae my Dalamation with his Pick Up until eventuially catching him an running him over, I have to disagree with you.

I have seen so many examples of bad animal treatment......

From simply kicking a street dog as they ride past on the Motrbike, to wacking with sticks, keeping chianed on small leashes or in tiny cage, often in direct sunlight without clean water.

That's just dogs, visit some of the animal attractions like the Snake Fram in Thonburi or the Tgier Zoo in Sriracha - these places I have vised each only once, and never again.

I think it is quite clear that Thai people have very little regard for life, even human, but especially not animal life.

So, in summary, and to allow others to return to the main thread

Yes, neutering is a good idea!

Winkie

[DawnHRD]

Good points, Winkie. I was just stating that we at HHDRC haven't seen much cruelty, but a lot of ignorance & neglect. I'm sure you & others have seen it. We have seen a lot of Thais who do care, though.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you stated about the low regard for life in general in Thailand. Unfortunately, that is something we can't change. How can you get someone to have the sort of regard for a dog's life that we as Westerners think OK when that's more regard than he presently has for his children's lives? I guess slow education is the only way to go. OK, back on thread...

[Hublet]

I have a question.

Some of you may remember a fete (street carnival) which blocked half of Naebkehardt Road for a week some months back. Well whilst they were setting this fair up they realised that there was a pack of dogs lurking in the area. We used to have to run the gauntlet of these dogs every night just to get home. I was even bailed up by six of them one night (not a good experience). Anyway the Tessabahn sent a dog catcher in with his green truck and started rounding them up. All the Thais in the area (at the time) were horrified and were giving the dog catcher a really hard time until.............

Yep you got it. One very nasty and what looked like a very sick dog started having a go at anyone within lunging distance. The dog catcher eventually had to shoot it (I think with a tranquiliser) just to put it in the truck. This made everyone go very quiet and disperse really quickly.

Why did it take the fete to occur before anyone did anything about these dogs???? That is my question. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against the street dogs (if they are well behaved - like Ice) but something should be done about the nasty ones.

[playboy]

Hi DawnHHDRC

Can you please give me direction to your HHDRC so I can visit for my next trip to Hua Hin?
Is it raining in Hua Hin now? Any flood?

Thank you

[Jaime]

I understand from my sister in law that there are very few stray dogs around Sakhon Nakhon..... maybe Hua Hin should take a leaf out of the mutt-munching province's book.

As for farangs having a greater regard for dogs than Thais have for their children!

That only makes sense if like me you think that westerners have elevated domestic pets and animals in general to a totally unwarranted and unnatural degree of equity with human beings. We really have lost the plot and our understanding of our place in nature in that regard.

I doubt if Dawn meant it this way but nevertheless, if the broad inference of the polemic is that Thais are cruelly negligent towards their children then that doesn't make any sense to me based on my own experiences both in Thailand and Europe.

Amongst others, the Thais have a different approach to their relationship with animals - why is their approach wrong and ours right? Cultural Imperialism on the part of westerners?

Different strokes etc.

[DawnHRD]

That's not how I meant it at all, Jaime. I meant if a Thai has a certain amount of money, he would spend it on his children rather than his dog. Also, if his regard for life is low anyway, why would he elevate his animal above what he feels for his family? Although I'll admit it wasn't worded very well.
Yes, I think there is a vast cultural difference between Western & Thai attitudes to animals & that was all I was trying to get over. In a totally different culture & economic situation, you can't expect things to be the same as in your own country. I was actually trying to defend the Thais that we have come across who feed street dogs, come to us for contraceptive vaccines etc. I haven't come across much cruelty, unlike some others. Which is strange, you'd think we'd see it most...

I had no intention to hijack this thread & turn it into an animal welfare debate - I actually did make 2 other points. Sorry, Hails

[Norseman]

I have nothing against the street dogs (if they are well behaved - like Ice)

Ice is NOT a street dog but a value added member of the London team.
Good to see that you folks like him.

[Winkie]

Amongst others, the Thais have a different approach to their relationship with animals - why is their approach wrong and ours right? Cultural Imperialism on the part of westerners?

Different strokes etc.

Hi Jaime

I'm not sure if it was my above post that prompted this statement. If it was based specifically on my post then I can offer you a reply.

It is not correct to kick or wack a dog (or indeed other animal) simply because the opportunity exists. Now this is a very bold statement, and I am certainly not accusing all Thais of such behaviour, but I think we have all seen this behaviour, and furthermore we have all seen the total disinterest of other Thai onlookers when such a thing occurs.

I'm sure you would agree that such behavour is neitehr required or desireable regardless of race, beliefs or wealth, and would not be tolerated in other regions of the world.

Dawn

What are your thoughts on feeding street dogs? When we lived in Thailand many years ago we happily fed a pack of dogs who were friendly and gurded our front gate very night.

I've come back to Thailadn a few years ago, and now I do not want to feed them or encourage them to be near our house.

One reason is that we ahve children and the risk of bites and desease suggest that I should not feed them.

The other, of course, is that street dogs will prevail whilst food is plentiful. If they are not full, perhpas they'll not feel quite so amorous and possibly will eventually reduce the number of street dogs (I did read somewhere, I think is Soi Dog Rescue Pamphlet in Bangkok), that a single femaile dog, during her life time will be reposnsible for creating 4,600 street dogs. That's an awful lot of dogs.

Looks like this one is going off thread a bit!

Anyway, interesting to read your replies

Winkie