questions one should ask oneself

Post by **Jockey** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:09 am

Your electricity is out in the soi. A guy turns up on a motor cycle with a 30 foot ladder over his shoulder. He proceeds to shimmy up the ladder in his sandles to reach the affected cables. He is apparently from the electricity company, although someone tells you hes the brother of someone who works for the electricity board. He proceeds to walk along the cables holding on with his bare hands the upper cables to balance himself. hoping to find and fix the problem.

Do you:

1. Try to stop him, its too dangerous.

2. Think good! I'll be able to switch on the A/C and watch the footy soon.

Post by **chelsea** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:20 am

Jocky, definitly no2 especially if it is finals time.
Also if the power surges on and off when he moves, tell him to stop in a suitable position (where it does not) for the length of the game so there are no more surges, and your ale stays suitably cold.

Post by **Jockey** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:24 am

Post by **margaretcarnes** » Sat May 24, 2008 6:06 am

Then there was the farang with the leaking house roof. A guy came to fix it and it was fine for a few months, then starts leaking again. Farang gets the guy back. He goes up in the loft again, has a look, comes down and says 'bucket full'

That one was hearsay. This one I saw myself - on a lift door in the Bayoke - a sign saying 'Firemans Lift'

Post by **Nereus** » Sat May 24, 2008 9:09 am

margaretcarnes wrote: That one was hearsay. This one I saw myself - on a lift door in the Bayoke - a sign saying 'Firemans Lift'

Maybe you do not have high rise buildings where you are, or maybe you just assumed that because it was Thailand it must be wrong.

http://www.fire.org.uk/punbb/upload/vie ... php?id=684

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:15 am

You have just been charged 40Bt for a large chang do you
1. consider this as bulk standard Thai price Farang price
2. consider the Thai selling it to you is a rogue and charlatan
3. Consider it is still cheap at half the price than bintabaht or back in your own country
4. Refuse to pay and vow never to RETURN
5. sit quietly and work out what to call a bar that charges 100Bt for a small Heineken
6. Listen to and believe the reasons given for charging 100Bt
7. Brain storm and work out that the Thai guy has exactly the same excuses as the guy charging 100Bt
8. Vow to never darken a bintabaht/farang bar charging 100Bt

I bet numbers 7 and 8 have never crossed most minds but numbers 1 to 4 have been aired to the extremity

Just my martian way of looking at things funny old world innit

The tuk tuk wants 80 Bt for a short journey do you
1. Consider he is just ripping you of
2. consider it is low season
3. consider fewer tourists fewer fares = higher prices
4. work out that in low season he is not gonna get a return fare
5. Consider that your pet tuk tuk driver is making very good money over the week and wouldn’t beck n call for you if he wasn’t

Im feeling a funny doins coming on just gonna pop down and have a chat with elvis

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:50 am

Just before i came in to post my last post a rather large Thai lady turned up and had proceeded to sit and talk to Mrs Sarge at the same time spreading her wares on the floor
When i went back out Mrs Sarge was about to hand rupees to said large lady so i being a nosey git especially when it comes to my money disapearing asked what she was buying.

SLIMMING PILLS SAID Mrs Sarge

I then asked the question she should have asked herself

If they are NOT working for the sales lady why the &%&* waste money on something that obviously does NOT work

Exit stage right fat lady with all her wares intact

Look on their faces priceless

Post by **margaretcarnes** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:44 am

Nerets is right - we don't do high rise here in the Rhubarb Triangle (thank Buddha.) I guess my first thought was indeed This Is Thailand - it can't be right - cos I figured it was probably an ordinary lift anyway!
But the slimming pills - magic aren't they? Thai lady of farang friend many moons ago (known as the PD) bought loads of weight reducing jelly sweets from just such a wandering sales lady. She was seen scoffing handfuls of them. When questioned on the amount replied that the more she ate the more weight she would lose. Bless.

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Sun May 25, 2008 10:19 am

Mags i am now waiting for a thai female stick insect to arrive (as Mrs Sarge was about to hand over schekels they will try again

) but i have wised up er indoors/she who must be obeyed/Mrs sarge

The question she must ask said stick insect

"could you show me a recent photo of when you were fat"

No posts to my last test paper (nevets they ignore me as well) obviously the answers were to tough

Ah well ill talk to elvis hes a larf.

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Mon May 26, 2008 4:18 pm

You have read and reread a certain set of threads. You have also surfed the net for 2 hours and read war and peace. Having checked and rechecked all U.N. charters, N.A.T.O. and Warsaw pact treaties and even know the atomic weight and properties of H2o. You have now spent 3 hours on word for windows Typing a thesis and have the answer so all throughout the world will live in harmony and have fresh potable H2o at will. Do you
1. reread all sources to ensure you have not missed anything.
2. Check your thesis for any ambiguity
3. Use the spellchecker to ensure no inconsistency
4. For the first time make sure I have put all punctuation and capitals in correctly
5. say sod it and keep it to yourself

The correct answer is 5 Lev has just locked it and given dire warnings of peril descending upon heads anyway i agree with Lev

Post by **sandman67** » Mon May 26, 2008 7:17 pm

my usual ones are:

1) where am I?
2) where are the paracetamol?
3) where are my fake camel active shorts?
4) what colour are the walls? ....

if the answer to 4 is mint green Im home......

Post by **chelsea** » Mon May 26, 2008 8:36 pm

Sarge, if no5 is correct, you left the most important part from the answer.

IMHO it should read "5. Say sod it, keep it to yourself & do not tell HHS"

Post by **lindosfan1** » Mon May 26, 2008 10:09 pm

If someone starts a thread on property.
Will HHS take over the thread by

1. Complaining about the plumbing
2. Complaining about a bill
3. Complaining about a developer
4. Arguing with other posters
5. Will the thread be closed
Answers please or have I missed something

Post by **chelsea** » Tue May 27, 2008 12:15 am

Lindosfan1, answer is all of the above plus, "States that he owns the most expensive and artistic water piping systen in Hua Hin"

sargeant · Post by **sargeant** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:40 am

Tut Tut boys you are tweeking Levs ire im sure

I have kept my two theces "down Jockey down Mr plum"

i said two thesises not feces (how do you spell the plural of thesis

) to myself and only Lev himself can pry them from my lips luvsyaLev

Sandman not necessarily maybe it was you i threw out on his arse last week

Bet you want to know what they are

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